Maybe when you grew up with your sibling you wanted to pound their head into a wall half the time, but the other half there was a deeply known silent appreciation that you both will always have each other's backs. Suddenly, when it's time to genuinely grow up and you're finally separated from your siblings -- you discover you should've cherished your time at home with them more.
Not saying I regret anything with my sister, but there were times personally where I wish I would've thrown more love her way versus hate. It's similar to when you get into one of those huge fights with your parents and end up yelling "I hate you so much!" and instantly feel remorse after the words leave your dirty mouth. The same realization hit me with my sister, but not until she left. One of the most cliche sayings, "You don't know what you got till it's gone," is one of the most applicable phrases used when saying goodbye to your sibling after childhood comes to an abrupt end.
Our relationship wasn't toxic, nor very possessive, but there were days when I just couldn't wait to move out. It wasn't anything personal; it really was just the circumstances and spending so much time with another person leads to a certain comfort level. We as people don't really realize how comfortable we are with someone, until we think about the things we say and if we'd ever say that to someone we were just meeting right off the bat. This certain level of comfort can lead to saying the first thing that's on your mind, even if it'll hurt the other person more than you intended. A huge thing you learn after leaving your sibling and going off into the real world is that they're a person with feelings, just like you. Anything you wouldn't want to hear you shouldn't say to them either, even though you may take their presence for granted when living in the same household just because you're "stuck with them."
Well, now looking back I can honestly say, thank God I was "stuck with" my sister, Amy. I couldn't even count on my fingers the amount of times she was there for me until three a.m. when my high school sweetheart broke my heart. Or how many times we had girly freakouts about that new hot boy in our class that knew our name. Or even when we'd pig out at midnight because we were too lazy to go out or hang out with our friends. Not to mention the amount of hilarious boys my sister brought home that I got to torture and make fun of (out of love, of course).
The fact that my sister is one of the only people I can consistently and genuinely count on throughout my entire life means more than the world to me, and if you have any siblings I would consider taking notes now if you're still living with them. Moving away from her has made me cherish every memory we make now, no matter how little or silly. I've never felt stronger love than the love I share with her, and until I die I'll always have her back regardless of the circumstances or where we end up with our separate lives. She'll always be my consistent rock.
