I'm originally from San Diego, which for those of you who don't know, is a city along the coast of the very bottom of California. San Diego is absolutely beautiful, the perfect combination of upbeat beach communities and the high energy of a far-reaching downtown, but I still spent most of my life dreaming about how amazing it would to move to the east coast. I craved seasons and something new, a place where I didn't know everyone and could still get lost or overwhelmed by how different it all was. So naturally, I spent my high school career compiling a list of colleges in places like Boston and New York City. And when the time to apply finally rolled around, I was more anxious and stressed than I had ever been before -- I felt like my entire existence was resting on whether or not I got out of California.
In the end, I got accepted into all the schools I'd been hoping to go to, and it became a game of choosing. I finally had options, and it was like getting to choose a new life for myself. Would I move to New York City and pursue my lifelong dream of becoming Blair Waldorf? Would I go to a small school where I could build connections and try out internships? The options suddenly felt frighteningly limitless, but after a small eternity of tears, angst, and quite literal dread, I decided on Emerson College.
I had thought the hard part was over -- I knew where I was going to college, and it was in Boston, one of the cities I had always dreamed of living in. What else was there?
But as it turns out, it's not exactly easy to uproot your life and relocate to the opposite side of the country. It's like living in a different world. There are things I love about it, and there are things that I never saw coming, but as my first month in Boston comes to a close, there are a few things I think everyone should know before deciding moving cross-country for college.
1. You will be more overwhelmed than you ever expected.
There are a lot of simple comforts that we fail to acknowledge on a daily basis, like knowing where the grocery store is or the little conversations you have with your mom around the house. When all of that is suddenly pulled out from under you, all while you're facing down this entirely new stage in your life, there are going to be moments where you feel like you made the entirely wrong decision in going so far from home, because not only is this new situation so terrifying, but it's also an impossibility to stop for a quick visit at home. You're in another time zone than everything and everyone you know. It can get kind of crazy, but it's okay to give yourself a minute (or an hour, or an entire day) to give in to that fear and let yourself cry or quit functioning. The stress is normal. And it's temporary.
2. You might get trapped in your campus bubble.
My college campus is immersed in downtown Boston, so I am constantly surrounded by exciting opportunities to get away from school and explore my new city. But still, I sometimes find myself walking the same streets, back and forth between my dorm to my classes, from my classes to my favorite coffee shop, and then back to the dorm again. There's so much out there that you don't know about! In your home town, you knew where you were and there weren't many places you didn't know how to navigate, but now you're in another world. Force yourself to get out there and experience it. If you don't, that new city won't ever start feeling like home.
3. You will miss your people.
One of the weirdest parts of being in another time zone is that my friends aren't in it with me. It's jarringly different than seeing them every day like I have been pretty much all through high school. You have to text, and talk on the phone, and FaceTime, but no matter what, you're going to miss seeing them face to face. What's even crazier is that it will seem like everyone else you know at school has their old friends nearby. I've met a million and one of my roommate's friends, and sometimes it feels like I'm the only one in the entire city who's flying kind of solo. There's an adjustment to make, but the reality is you'll miss your people until you see them again at Christmas, and then again until summer. You'll miss them because you love them, but you have to remember that there are millions of people in your new city with the potential to become your people.
4. Saying goodbye is the absolute worst.
It just is. It doesn't matter that you'll see everyone in a few months, it's still going to be completely awful to say goodbye to them, especially knowing how far away from them you'll be.
5. Things are going to change back home.
And it's going to be really hard to miss all of it. I've only been in Boston a month, and already I feel like I've missed a lifetime. Every time I call, there's seems to be some new drastic update waiting to take me by surprise. There's always going to be that nagging fear that I'm going to come home to a whole other world, but the reality is that I'll have changed just as much by the time I get back, too. Things balance out.
6. Distance is a good thing.
The world is enormous, which is cliche to say, but it's true. The city or town you come from is a microcosm of reality, and there's no way to get the full picture except for by getting out of your comfort zone and actually seeing what you're missing. College is the perfect opportunity to put some distance between you and home, and to get a much-needed shift in perspective.
It was always my plan to leave San Diego for college. I've been craving a change in scenery for as long as I can remember. But the fact is that I wasn't really prepared for how different my life would be once I left. Still, through all the stress and all the emotion and all the change that I've faced in the thirty days that I've been away from home, I know that I made the right choice. And I miss San Diego more than I ever thought I would, but I'm happy here. There aren't a lot of times in life that we're given the opportunity to uproot our lives so completely, and there is just so much to gain from that kind of change that it's seems like such a waste to let those opportunities pass by without at least giving them a chance.
