For the past five or six years, I've been trying to work out and eat healthier to try and lose some weight. I'm motivated, probably more than anyone else, and yet, I still don't manage to do it. I can lose about ten pounds and then gain it all back within a couple weeks. So let me tell you: motivation doesn't matter.
Yes, I understand. Depression can make changes in your motivation as well as anxiety or BPD or any other mental health disorders. I get it as I've been there. However, I never let it stop me. When I was in grade eleven, at the height of my anxiety disorder, I signed up to audition for All-State which is a New York State music program for high school students who are gifted in music. I am a singer, so I decided to go for it despite the crippling disorder that plagued my entire body. The day of the audition, I went in confident as ever. And as the song began, I sang. I was singing an Italian aria from whatever opera that may or may not have existed. And about thirty seconds into the song, I forgot the lyrics. A wave of adrenaline flooded my veins and my mind and body split. My insides twisted and I couldn't feel the world around me. Suddenly, the judge stood up and gave me the music and the pianist continued playing and life moved on. No, I didn't do very well. But I still tried and I still did better than a lot of other people who probably remembered their lyrics.
TL;DR: I still tried. I still did it. Zero motivation, all obligation. I did it because I had to, not because I had this motivation to do so. Maybe the obligation gave me motivation as a side effect, but not to my accord.
So motivation isn't necessary. If you want to start waking up earlier, wake up earlier. Just set your alarm and get up the second it starts ringing. No matter how much you want to click snooze, you have to resist it and just do. Don't like your job? Sucks. You need money to survive, so get dressed and go. You have time to "follow your dreams". Motivation is a made up concept and it's kind of like getting high (of which I have zero experience, just so you know), it's a temporary feeling of greatness. A feeling of "I'm gonna do this!" and then you wake up the next morning and continue being your usual self.
The only way to get better, is to just do it.
