I spent the weekend moving into my new apartment in Kalamazoo. YAY! My mom and I managed to move all of my furniture and living stuff into the place in 24 hours. It was exhausting and hot, but I am so happy that I can check that off my to do list. Tomorrow, I'll officially move in and be ready to start the school year.
I am so thankful for my mom and all that she did for me this weekend. My mom truly is a queen! We were in the car together for a total of 8ish hours throughout the move in process. That means we had eight hours to talk. My mom and I both love to talk, especially about family, love, friends, relationships, the future, and so much more. My mom is so smart and has so much wisdom and advice to offer, I'd be selfish not to share.
You can break up with friends.
Friendships are no different than romantic relationships; if someone isn't treating you right or valuing the relationship the way you do, you need to break up with them. I've learned this with a few people, and at the end of the day, I lose stress and gain happiness when I stop putting energy into relationships that are draining me. Life is too short to be spending time worried about a friendship that brings you down. Focus that time and energy into relationships that are able to flourish and can fill you up.
Love is a force that isn't always reciprocated.
In physics, we learn that for every force exerted, there is an equal and opposite force. In love, it isn't nearly as simple. We fall in love with people who don't love us at all, and we fall in love with people who love us just the same. Every once in a while, we fall in love with people who love us even more than we love them. There are dangerous waters around figuring out how others feel toward you, and how you feel toward them. It's not science. The best thing I've learned to do is love someone as best as I can with true, real feelings.
People who want to be a part of your life will fight to be.
Actions speak louder than words, but effort speaks louder than actions. Someone can be there physically, but that doesn't mean they are there for you and willing to put in effort to keep you around. The people who do put in the effort to be a part of your life will fight to stay close to you through your good and bad times. There are people in my life that have shown me how much they care about our relationship because they stayed active and integral in my life even in my bad times. When I wasn't able to be there for them, they still supported me and didn't give up on our friendship. I know they want a part of my life because they fought to have one.
You belong to no one but yourself.
Your body is a temple. Treat it with the respect it deserves, and don't let anyone diminish that. It is so easy to lose ourselves in other people, but don't lose sight of your value and importance. You are enough by yourself, and don't need anyone to make you complete. It took me years (18+ to be exact) to realize this. I am me, and I don't need anyone to verify that.
Love evolves.
Sometimes we fall out of love. Other times, we keep falling harder and harder into love. As hard as we may try to convince ourselves one way or another, we eventually will have to face the truth of our feelings. In quality relationships, both people continually and exponentially love one another, and they feel it from one another. I see this in my family and close friends. They are the people in my life that I know contain reciprocal love and will not diminish with age, distance, or change.
You cannot write your future, but you can plan for what may be ahead.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in what's going to happen tomorrow (or in 5-10 years), and we worry about things we have no control over. I feel so out of control when I worry about things that I cannot control at all, so I plan. My mom has taught me to be ready for the unexpected. When you're worried about how you'll do on your next exam or where you'll spend the rest of you life, plan by focusing the present time on things that will get you there. Make a list of pros and cons of different places you might like to live. Study more for that exam. Don't sit in the backseat of your life because when you get pushed to the front seat, you won't be prepared.
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Mom, thank you for all these life lessons. You are my greatest teacher, and I love learning so much from you. See you so soon!
XO
-Mal
