As teens we assume all parents are critical of everything we do and create unnecessary rules for the lives we think we are big enough to control, but that's not true. Not all parents are like that, and that was definitely not the norm in my household. My mom isn't the type to bring me down or get mad easily, rather she tries to understand me and adapts to my mood in order to help or critique my situation.
Growing up in such a chaotic society/generation it can be difficult for parents to perfectly understand what their children may be struggling with from day-to-day. Teens nowadays tend to put themselves first and not realize how hard their parents try to understand them. Though I have fallen into this stereotypical teenage mindset, I have been also been able to take a step back and realize all my mom has done to help me throughout my years.
It's assumed (in the teenage world) that all parents think they know best and adolescents don't always agree with that. So, instead look at it this way. Parents look at their child's situation and relate it back to when they were a kid experiencing something similar, thus delivering advice based on what they learned or the outcome of the event. Make sense? Looking at it this way made me appreciate the advice my mom has given me.
Reflecting on the most recent years, one of the greatest pieces of advice my mom has passed on to me was silence. No, she didn't say, "it's better to say nothing." Instead, she meant sometimes the best advice wasn't spoken, but rather understood.
For example, in high school I didn't have to study very hard to make good grades. As a result, my mom knew my grades, but never forced me to study. Coming to college I am now learning how to study. All the years of just listening in class is catching up to me. That is where the "silence" comes in. My mom didn't have to say "I told you so" or roll her eyes implying that I should have learned sooner. In contrast, I learned my own lesson. I learned the hard way and on my own, how most things are done in life - they catch you off guard.
I cannot appreciate the value of this advice enough. By her not constantly telling me what to do/not to do, I figured things out on my own and discovered how badly I need her. Going into college I had a sense of independence and respect for those around me. No, I didn't develop this overnight. I watched my mom and her "silent" advice by the way she carried herself and the example she set for me and my sister.
Every day I wake up and wonder what my mom has planned for that day, not just because I'm over 300 miles away and won't see her, but because I wonder what lessons she is learning for herself and what advice I could get next if I was to be there.
To those struggling to see the value in their parent's input, try to look at the whole picture. Try to realize that they had/have struggles too and try their hardest to help you in every way possible. Try to listen to the things they tell you or don't tell you. Remember they messed up at some point. Remember they're human, too.
