The Mother Who Struggles With Self Care

The Mother Who Struggles With Self Care

Struggling with balancing motherhood and taking time to love yourself.
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There are moms who are majestic. You see them out shopping at outdoor malls or at the doctor’s office. They’re perfectly dressed, cute jeans and a feminine top, a maxi dress or even a romper. Always in wedges, the perfect heel for motherhood. I am not that mother. I am a mother who struggles with self care. My children are always clean, except for occasionally a messy face from a meal. Hair fixed, dressed age appropriately, no holes or stains. I gave up on coordinating my boy/girl twins their first year, but sometimes it’s a happy accident. I put my effort there. I know I put too much of my effort there and often ignore myself. I shouldn’t.

When you leave the hospital with your babies they warn you about post-partum depression and baby blues and advise all mothers to shower and groom every day, to make yourself feel more “human”. I kept it up for a while. My mother lived with my then husband for months and I did shower every day. Now my tiny people are 3 years and some change and I do not shower every day. I shower and wash my body a lot more than I wash my hair. I understand why mom’s cut their hair off after kids. Less to wash, but the maintenance of haircuts and styling keeps mine long, full of dry shampoo and usually in a bun. Make up remover wipes, dry shampoo and I go way back. They got me through late nights in the studio in college and now they are getting me through motherhood.

Self care is something I’m actively working on. I buy nice shampoo and conditioner, since I only use it once a week it, it is pretty cost effective. I have French skin care, and nice make up, so when I do actually have just a little bit left after a day of work, commuting and twin wrangling, grooming is very rewarding. When I do dedicate time to myself and feeling pretty, I often wonder why I don’t do this more often, but I know why. I’ve always struggled with it. My whole life. I don’t want my children to see that. It is irresponsible to paint an image for your children of something that isn’t real, but my life could be more balanced. Don't get me wrong my children make me incredibly happy, but I know that one day they will move out and start their own lives and I need to still know how to curl my own hair and slay some winged liner like I have my whole life before they came along. For now I won't fill my brows, or fix my dry shampoo filled hair everyday, but making them a part of beauty rituals like soaking and scrubbing my feet when we have time just to ourselves makes me more focused. I am worth the time it takes to do it. I am their mother and I am important.

Cover Image Credit: Crystal Green

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10 Things I Threw Out AFTER Freshman Year Of College

Guess half the stuff on your packing list doesn't really matter
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I spent the entire summer before my freshman year of college so WORRIED.

I also spent most of my money that summer on miscellaneous dorm stuff. I packed the car when the time finally came to move in, and spent the drive up excited and confused about what the heck was actually going on.

Freshman year came and went, and as I get ready to go back to school in just a few short weeks (!!), I'm starting to realize there's just a whole bunch of crap I just don't need.

After freshman year, I threw out:

1. Half my wardrobe.

I don't really know what I was thinking of owning 13 sweaters and 25 T-shirts in the first place. I wear the same five T-shirts until I magically find a new one that I probably got for free, and I put on jeans maybe four times. One pair is enough.

2. Half my makeup.

Following in the theme of #1, if I put on makeup, it's the same eyeliner-mascara combination as always. Sometimes I spice it up and add lipstick or eyeshadow.

3. My vacuum.

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One, I basically never did it. Two, if I REALLY needed to vacuum, dorms rent out cleaning supplies.

4. Most of my photos from high school.

I didn't throw them ALL away, but most of them won't be making a return to college. Things change, people change, your friends change. And that's okay.

5. Excess school supplies.

Binders are heavy and I am lazy. I surprisingly didn't lose that many pens, so I don't need the fifty pack anymore. I could probably do without the crayons.

6. Cups/Plates/Bowls/Silverware.

Again, I am lazy. I cannot be bothered to wash dishes that often. I'll stick to water bottles and maybe one coffee cup. Paper plates/bowls can always be bought, and plastic silverware can always be stolen from different places on campus.

7. Books.

I love to read, but I really don't understand why I thought I'd have the time to actually do it. I think I read one book all year, and that's just a maybe.

8. A sewing kit.

I don't even know how to sew.

9. Excessive decorations.

It's nice to make your space feel a little more cozy, but not every inch of the wall needs to be covered.

10. Throw pillows.

At night, these cute little pillows just got tossed to the floor, and they'd sit there for days if I didn't make my bed.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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The Colors Of The Rainbow Ranked From Best To Worst

"Color is a power which directly influences the soul." – Wassily Kandinsky

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The colors of the rainbow are found everywhere; in products at the store, clothing, and even in signs on the roads. Some colors stand out more than others but all in all, each and every one is there for a purpose. That purpose is most likely to grab your attention and make you notice one thing or another. All colors are great but some of them are better than others and here's why.

1. Purple

This was my favorite color, once upon a time. It was also my mom's favorite color. The color purple rarely appears in nature which makes it precious and exquisite. Purple has historically been associated with wealth and royalty but also represents creativity, wisdom, and independence. Given its rarity, seeing something purple makes it special.

2. Green

This is my favorite color now because it represents nature and all that lies in the great outdoors. The color green is everywhere; it represents life and growth. Green is soothing and relaxing while also bringing a sense of hope and adventure. It embodies me in a variety of aspects. I love adventure and am always looking to nature to bring a source of light to my life.

3. Blue

Another great color that can be seen every time you walk out the door and look up at the sky. Although blue usually symbolizes sadness, it also represents trust, stability, and intelligence. It is calming and tranquil in nature. What's better than watching the waves of the ocean?

4. Red

The color of blood and fire; representing both love and anger. Red is powerful and courageous while also being destructive and aggressive. It catches attention quickly and easily to help alert people to danger.

5. Yellow

The color of sunshine and happiness. Yellow represents energy, optimism, and joy. It is spontaneous and unstable while also being bright and attention-grabbing, but only when paired with a darker color.

6. Orange

Orange is a mix of colors rather than standing strong on its own. This color represents warmth and compassion, but it really just helps aid other colors rather than creating a name for itself. Orange reminds me of Halloween and pumpkins, but not much else.

7. Indigo

What even is indigo? This is such an irrelevant color which is why it falls on the end of my list. The only reason I know this color exists is because of ROYGBIV- red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. Without that, it would be a mystery; there would be no recognition behind the word.

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