Have you ever learned that a couple made the decision to join in marriage and thought, “Wow, they just met!” instantly? Oftentimes when someone gets married, he/she touts that he/she is marrying his/her best friend. If you have never heard that, you must live alone, in a hole, underneath a rock, or under some sort of enchantment. The majority of the time, marriage is between two persons that know one another very well. Typically, it takes a long time to get to know someone that well. However, not all couples are in this same boat.
We’ve also more than likely all heard of a Vegas wedding, where two people meet and decide to immediately tie the knot. In our American media, this is a common way to exemplify why a marriage didn’t work out. However, not all couples that decide to seal the deal soon after meeting fall into this stereotypical joke.
When it comes down to it, every person in the world is unique, and we have to hope that no one is forced to live his/her entire life completely alone. (Hello, you under that rock, hear us out here.) Humans throughout time have depended on each other, not only for survival of the species, but for personal happiness. But as everyone is unique, everyone’s relationship is, of course, also unique.
As similar as my sisters and I are, we ourselves don’t even ride the same boat on this topic. In the past, I have dated both the “friend of a friend” and the “close friend’s brother.” Obviously, neither case turned out. The whole best friend thing was never really an option for me, though. My friend group was largely comprised of dudes, my best friends have mostly been other ladies or there is that one “brother” who decided he wasn’t interested in females for those types of purposes.
Anyway, my parents were neighbors growing up and one of my sisters just married her best friend. Yet as much like my sister and my Mom as I am, I did not marry my best friend. In fact, two months after my wedding, I was going through a lot of things and almost broke down with the realization that I didn’t even know some very basic things about my new life partner. Sure, we hadn’t just met, but we hadn’t known each other very long. And for the short time we had been together, we had been long-distance until just three months before the bells rang for us. And even if we had been together in those times, I knew next to nothing about Brazil, his native land, the city life, or living on my own in general (college dorms aren’t quite the same).
If I knew so little about the man, why did I agree to marry him and then actually go through with it? Let me tell you, there are very simple reasons that are of the utmost value. First off, I have never known or imagined a love like ours and haven’t been able to deny my unusual attraction to him since we met. No matter how hard I tried, I could not resist him. Something in my soul attached to him right from the beginning and every time I thought of a new potential horror I might not know about him, or something vital to me he might not agree with, he would ended up checking off yet another box on my perfect man list. I may not have thought to put “doesn’t chew on fingernails” and “doesn’t steal the covers” on my list, and non-important things like, “sits to pee” may not ever be checked off (I’m pretty determined, though), but I was one of the lucky people that got to have God tap me on the shoulder and say, “Hey, that’s him! At least give him a go, little lady!” during a crucial moment comprised of a few life altering decisions. I mean, how can anyone say no to that? Yes, he does make me laugh. But most importantly, he inspires me in more ways than I can count and he supports me in all my crazy dreams and ambitions. We truly are our best selves together.
My sister married her best friend and my husband that I barely knew has become my best friend. I am very confident that all four of us are hard-headed and determined enough to enjoy these marriages for our lifetimes, just like my parents. (Oh, and by the way, congratulations, Mrs. Lehman!)
So regardless of whether you marry your best friend or not, don’t call those people in the other boat crazy. What works for you may not be what is right for them, no matter how similar or different you might be. And you, under the rock, I believe in you, too.
