If you’re reading this, I’m not a teenager anymore. As of Monday, I have officially been an adult for two whole years (yikes). I am in my twenties (lol what), and I’ve successfully beaten teen pregnancy (yay me). I’m still wrapping my head around how old I am (I know, I know, “just you wait”), and I haven’t quite come to terms with it. I really don’t know what to think about the future, so I’ve been reflecting on the past, especially my two years of being old enough to be criminally tried as an adult. As I considered what I’ve accomplished so far, one thing struck me. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t made much progress in my life, but I do know that I’ve learned a lesson more valuable than anything that studying and working and moving have taught me.

I’ve always been a very independent person. I don’t like for others to tell me what to do, and I don’t ask for help. As I’ve gotten older and slightly more mature, I’ve learned to respect authority and follow rules-- most of the time. I haven’t been without a job for more than a month since I was fifteen, so I know how important listening to the boss is. I still have a hard time obeying, don’t get me wrong, but now I’m much more aware of what I’m doing and whether it’s right or wrong. Unfortunately, though, I still don’t ask for help. I think I’ve convinced myself that if I can’t take care of things on my own, I must not be good enough, and I can’t take care of myself, and I need to depend on other people to support me.

Being independent is a valuable trait, and I strongly believe that we should all strive for strength and individuality. We should be comfortable and willing to stand up for ourselves. We should be prepared to defend our views, and we should be strong enough to agree to disagree when necessary. With that said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking others for help. I have major issues doing this, but I know that it’s really okay to need help every now and then. It’ll probably take me an entire lifetime to accept it and actually start feeling comfortable leaning on others, but I realize now that I can ask someone to help me and still be good enough and take care of myself and depend on myself.

I don’t want to confuse you too much, although I’m still pretty confused about the topic myself. While independence is an important trait, so is dependence. God calls us to draw closer to Him and grow more and more dependent on him. Humans are designed to be relational creatures, and we are meant to lean on each other. So yes, learn to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself. But don’t live your whole life that way. You know how people talk about “being good alone before being good with someone else” when they talk about dating? That applies to other relationships too. Learn your own strengths and weaknesses and then recognize when you need the help of others. We shouldn’t lean on others completely, but we shouldn’t lean only on ourselves, either. There’s gotta be a happy medium there somewhere. I have yet to find it, so I’m far from an expert on the subject. I just want you to think about this, too.

What I do know is that I need to learn to ask for help. We all need to learn to ask for help. Doing so is not a sign of weakness, and it does not mean that you can’t take care of yourself. Asking for help is a mature thing to do, and it means that you’re comfortable enough with yourself and others to be a little vulnerable. I’m only twenty years old, and I'm not particularly wise or brilliant. I promise, though, that you won't regret following this one piece of advice.