Well, well, well. Three weeks away from the summer being over and people start crawling back to school to enjoy all the wonderful words professors fill our ears with and enjoy the terms that seem to pop off the pages of our textbooks!
Maybe after we all enjoy syllabus week, baby.
To most college students, the phrase "syllabus week" is defined as the week where there is no sleep being had due to the amount of house hopping to have as much fun as possible before the semester hits full swing. This week is full of fun, friends, and oh, can't forget, parties! Some people may be new to syllabus week or even partying in general, but have no fear! I, myself, have been to a few parties in the day. With that being said, I am probably the most qualified awkward person at parties. So, I am here to help guide you through party week on how to be the most awkward person at parties.
1. Loudly introduce yourself to every person.
The best way to establish awkward dominance over others to make sure you introduce yourself to everyone at the party. Since parties can be a little loud for most people, I suggest using a higher volume. When you introduce yourself, make sure you compliment them on something. "Hi, I'm Mason and I'm so impressed with your small feet!" has worked for me in the past.
2. Stay sober. But have the most fun.
I found a perfect way to throw off raving college kids is to be having the time of your life sober. They look at you so confused and don't understand that in life, you can have fun without drinking! Wow, what a concept. Even in their drunken haze of drinking, dancing and God only know what else, they will freak out, question you, and walk away. At this point, it is best to smile and wave.
3. Be over confident.
Have you ever played a drinking game? Great because you are the best, even if you only have played it once. Make sure all night you talk up how great you are at pong, smash, kings cup, or any other ridiculous game to ensure max drunk-ness. If you talk yourself up enough, people might want to play to see how great you. Once the game is playing and everyone begins to realize how horrible you are, it gone get awks.
4. Adventure around the house.
Oh yes. This one is one of my favorites. Not only do I get to snoop around different fraternity houses, usually I see/find interesting things. The best part is getting to open doors that are closed. Usually, in my experience, there are people in there. Hey now, maybe I want to join the party! It could range from two to ten people in these rooms, and those are two to ten more people you get to be friends with.
5. Dance.
For those who don't know me, I am the best dancer in the world. Shakira taught my hips how not to lie and I cannot contain them ever since.The best thing to do when dancing is to make eye contact with everyone that looks at you. Because dancing is not just in the lower body gyrations, it's in the eye contact.
These are just a few guidelines that can help you through your time at any party. You can catch me at the local party sporting these moves and a few dozen more. But don't you worry! You will be the coolest kid at the party in no time.
Welcome to the party life, my friends.
