By now most of us have been exposed to the many personas of Donald J. Trump, or as my real estate professor lovingly called him, “the Donald.” The Donald has switched from taking over office buildings to conquering entire states, sweeping across the country and capturing numerous wins during early primary voting contests. It’s becoming increasingly safer to say that Donald Trump will be the Republican nominee, and as a Republican I just cannot stand the thought of my party allowing that to happen.

Several months ago I would never have written this article. Several months ago Donald Trump stood on stage at the Fox Republican Debate and laughed at how many of his fellow candidates had done favors for him because of his donations, even going as far to say that Hilary Clinton had come to his wedding because of the power of his bank account. Trump was a self-funded, anti-establishment businessman that promised to do away with the corruption and bureaucratic nonsense plaguing politics, something Mitt Romney had been unable to do in the last election.

I wanted so very much to believe in that promise. My party needs a change, there is no denying it. Watching career Republicans like Mitch McConnell, a man my mother briefly dated before she came to her senses and a story for another time, rise to the top of the leadership and bring nothing new to the table has been extremely frustrating. Donald Trump was brash, spoke his mind, and excited us with the possibility that we didn’t have to live with the status quo anymore. I just did not think at the time that his status quo would turn out to be so much different than mine.

Indications of this were present even in his announcement that the Donald was seeking the Republican presidential nomination. He wants to build a wall and get Mexico to pay for it? Good luck I said, but it did get the conversation on immigration rolling again. He believes that all of the people sneaking across our southern border are rapists and killers? I did not agree, but it is true that the Mexican cartels do make that area highly dangerous with drug smuggling, sex trafficking, you name it. According to a recent PBS study, 164,000 people were killed as a result of Mexico’s drug war from 2007-2014. To put that in perspective, an estimated 103,000 died in Iraq and Afghanistan during the same time frame, and that was in an active war zone.

I cannot, however, excuse the hate-filled and quite frankly, destructive rhetoric that has come from his mouth, his Twitter account, and his campaign in recent months. When Donald Trump goes on stage and says things such as we should ban all Muslims entering from the country, that Islam as a whole hates us, and we should reintroduce water-boarding I simply cannot get behind him. It worked so well for President Bush, on top of being just plain wrong. When the future nominee of my party says that he would not support Carly Fiorina, a fellow female candidate, on the basis of her looks and the fact that she is a woman, I am repulsed.

Furthermore, when groups such as the KKK actively campaign for him or supporters at his rallies target and savagely beat protesters that are practicing a right to assemble and freedom of speech protected in our Constitution, I am ashamed. We should invite opposition as a chance to strengthen and challenge our ideals, not use as a chance to suppress those with a differing opinion. Trump’s words and what he supports are not only hurtful, they build barriers of entry into my party rather than welcoming people in. These are just a few of the many, many shameful things that have come to light as a result of Trump running for president.

I hate Donald Trump. Not the man, but what he has allowed himself to stand for. I wanted an opportunity to step forward, to show that as a Republican I could be reasonable and stand for an optimistic future. While Democrats have been gaining more voters, Donald Trump has been busy building walls around the policies and culture surrounding my party. I therefore do not believe I will be able to support or take my party seriously come November if he becomes the Republican nominee.

There is a campaign ad from 1964 titled, “Confessions of a Republican” heavily being recirculated currently, and as the man in the video so eloquently phrases it, “if you unite behind a man you don’t believe in, it’s a lie.” As a Republican, I acknowledge that we still have a long way to go towards acceptable political reform. Just please, to all those that have turned away from my party, please don’t lose faith in the fact that there are many of us out there that aren’t Donald Trump.

As for anyone that has questioned whether or not other countries would take a woman or a balding Jewish man seriously as President of the United States, look at the Donald the next time he decides to go discuss his manhood on national television. We have a long way to go, and a problem to fix come November.