At five thirty, every morning, my phone plays “The Distance” by Cake. “Reluctantly crouched at the starting line. Engines pumping and thumping in time. The green light flashes, the flags go up. Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup.” I know that I have to wake up. I know that I need to have time to pack a lunch and to brush my hair, to clean the allergies out of my eyes. I fight my way through the pillows and sheets and force myself up and out to find my phone purposely faced far enough to make me walk—and I push the snooze button, unplug the phone, and place it gently back under my pillow where I lay my head…again. Back to sleep. That sweet, gentle voice that calls me back to that place of pure, comfortable, rest.

"Life shouldn’t make me look this bad."

“Reluctantly crouched at the starting line. Engines pumping and thumping in time.The green light flashes, the flags go up. Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup.” Yes. The distance. Reluctantly I crouch and the starting line needs to go the fuck away. SNOOZE. The dog is dancing on the wooden floor at the back door, barking as her nails click clack, and I am forced to get out of bed again to let her out. I creak and hunchback my way over to her and realize I also have to pee. Awesome. I sit, eyes closed, and reminisce the times past when I was at rest, wishing to return. “Reluctantly crouched at the starting line. Engines pumping and thumping in time. The green light flashes, the flags go up. Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup.” Yeah, thanks Cake. That starting line is still there. Reluctantly crouched I sit, squatty potty and all.

I stumble my way back to the bed and dig through the blankets squinting through allergy crusted lashes. Shut up. We don’t talk in the morning. “Reluctantly crouched at the starting line. Engines pumping and thumping in time. The green light flashes, the flags go up. Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup.” Ok, ok—fuck. I am awake now. Turn off. The dogs are both awake now and in my way. My legs pushed by their massive bodies trying to prevent me from moving across the room. I strip my clothes and head to the shower. Eyes still closed. I sit in the bath with my forehead on the faucet. Main goal, clear my face of allergies. Wake up.

Eventually, if the water is hot enough, I am awake…ish. I grab the towel and wipe my face. Oh shit, is that me? My reflection reveals a purple mark on my forehead from the faucet. Wow. You would think that I partied all night. Woke up. Taught kids. Thought about quitting to work at Chili’s to hand fries to strangers instead. Came home. Made dinner. Bed at 9:30. Life shouldn’t make me look this bad. I should not be this tired. Clothes. I should probably wear those.

Well, what do you know, it is 6:50. Remember that one time I was supposed to leave for work right now? Yeah. Still haven’t packed food, made a drink, applied makeup, or spoken to anyone. Good thing I dress like a cartoon character: same clothes everyday. Cardigan, jeans, chucks go! Makeup brush fast fast. Eyebrows. Ok that takes a few minutes. No girl should have to start her days without eyebrows. Mascara. Bye Felicia.

I grab my phone. Move to the kitchen and grab the protein shakes from the box I have for days when I didn’t plan ahead and pack a lunch. Yogurt. Spoon. Check. Avengers lunch box. Fruit strip, Chips Ahoy, Almonds. Done. Ice, water. Gotta go. Oh hi kids. Bye kids. Mommy doesn’t talk in the morning. Shhhh. Have a nice day. I have no idea how I got to work, but here I sit in the parking lot. 7:25. School starts at 8:00. How long can I sit here and not speak to anyone? Reluctantly crouched at the starting line.

I may need to read this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/16/sleeping-...