Aug 18th 2012
I will never forget the day I found out you were gone...14 short days after my 18th birthday. My sister and I were staying with Auntie, it was a nice summer day. We spent the morning doing chores and cleaning the house. We always had a blast because we would turn the radio up loud and dance and sing and just have fun. Auntie came into the room and turned off the music she said we had to talk. Kalei and I just assumed we were going over the chores. Auntie seemed a little weird and told us to come sit on the couch so we could talk about something. She sat in between us and said I received a call from the hospital in Florida and I'm not sure how else to say this but mom passed away. I was in shock. I couldn't believe it, this couldn't be true. I said this is not real your joking mom is ok, as tears are rolling down my aunts face she tells me she wishes it was not true. She hugs Kalei and I as we all cry. It didn't feel real it wasn't real, how could it be. I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't get to say "I love you". I could no longer call her on the phone to say hi.
A week later we held services in Arlington, Massachusetts. My mom was only 39 years old when she passed away, still so young with so much time ahead of her. My mom was loved by so many, she was such a great person. We never had much but she would give the shirt off her back to someone if they asked or needed it.
Now I sit here, 4 years later, thinking about the day my mom passed away. I think about how when I saw her lying there for the first time it looked like she was breathing, and I was so freaked out, I ran out of the funeral home and my grandmother followed me. She calmed me down said a few comforting and kind words and then walked back in with me holding my hand and reminding me everything will be ok. I walked up to mom, I had not seen her in 2 years since I moved to Massachusetts full time with my aunt. I thought about all the good times we had together and I told her I loved her, I'm not sure how many times. It really hit me that she wasn't coming back when I saw her lying there. I was in shock and denial I didn't want to believe my mom was gone but now she's right here in front of me and I had to face the fact that after her services I would never see her again, or hug her or call her on the phone or hear her say I love you just one more time. The things I would do to bring my mom back are never ending. I have only become stronger through this, I wish I could change the past sometimes, but it has shaped me into the person I am today.
Mom, I know you would be so proud of me right now and all of the accomplishments I have made so far. In one short year I will be the first college graduate in our family. I will continue to follow my dreams and make many more accomplishments. As your favorite band Aerosmith would sing "Dream on! Dream on!" Dream until your dreams come true. Every time we hear them we think of you and your obsession with Steven Tyler, and we have grown to love him too, just like you he is such a great person. I know you want me to do well in life and it may not be easy but I am trying my best and that is the only thing I can do. I hope you'r proud of me mom, I've come a long way, so far and only aim to go farther.
I love you more than words and miss you more with each day that passes. There's never a moment that you're not on my mind, I think about you all the time. As you would sign everything, love always and forever 💗 XOXOXO
Mia Lynn
