I am a modern day wife AND mother. Now some of you must be thinking "What's the big deal? Women have done it for thousands of years?!". You, my friend, are correct. However, women have NOT always been wives and mothers in a world that expects more. Now before you lose your mind and think that I am complaining about my wonderful life, let me explain.

Let me start by saying that I absolutely love my life. I have wonderful children and an amazing husband. Now that we have that straight, let's get real. Being a wife and a mother in modern day America has to be (in my completely unqualified opinion) the leading cause of anxiety in 90% of women today. Especially if you are between the ages of 18 and 30. I am a 23-year-old mother of four. Trust me when I say I know a little about this subject.

In general if you are a mother and wife you are expected to do the following on a daily basis:

• Make breakfast

• Dress Children

•Gather belongings each child needs for the day

•Chauffeur everyone to their destination

• Gather, wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry for everyone in your house

•Do everyone's dishes

•Sweep, mop, and vacuum floors in the house

• Clean bathrooms (for those who don't know this includes cleaning toilets, bathtubs, floors, and sinks)

• Make lunch for anyone that this requires

• clean countertops

•Clean other rooms in your house

•Pick up children from school

•Snack and homework time

• Make dinner for family

• Bathe children

• Get children ready for bed

•Clean up the dinner mess

Now you may notice, NOTHING on that list involves the mother taking care of herself. Now add in the possibility of being a good wife and making lunch for your husband, making his plate, and making sure his clothes are out for work. Now add in that this is modern day America. How does that make a difference you ask? Oh I am happy to explain.

In modern day America we have class parties, class snack day, and PTA meetings. This means we get to add to the list of things to do. We get to add in meetings, sports, baking, last minute snack pickups, trying to make the BEST treats or prizes for class parties because for some unknown reason in modern day America all mothers have to compete to be the best.

Now let's take into account if you are between the ages of 18 and 30. That's a whole new ball game! Then you're expected to be social at some point. Generally with other parents, but then you have friends who don't have kids and want to party. You're young so a party sounds fun....until you're falling asleep on someone else's couch at 10:30 or you're puking when you're only two drinks in.

Lastly, let's add in "wifely duties". By this point, your lovely husband probably is already asleep or repulsed by the fact that even you don't remember when you showered last. Sadly, you don't have much time for either (this is why they say marry someone who loves you for more than sex. Trust me, they mean it. ).

Between all of this, trying to be the perfect wife, and be the perfect mother, how in the world are you supposed to even know who you are anymore?! I don't mean knowing your name or how old you are. I mean down to the core of your soul, WHO ARE YOU?

This one took me a while to figure out. Even as I wrote this I was unsure if I would have an answer to my own question. Then it hit me. I know exactly who I am. I am a mother. I am a wife. Down to my soul, I was meant to love these little creatures and the man who blessed me with each one. Sure I still love watching movies, crafting, and doing things outdoors. However, now that I have all of these wonderful people in my life, I don't know how to do any of those things without them. Sure things would be a lot easier if I didn't have to stop every five seconds and keep my one-year-old from eating the cat poop. I would love to go to the bathroom alone. But this is my normal now. So you want to know a secret? It's really more of a proclamation. If you're a mother and you feel like you aren't the "best" mom or the "best" wife, if you feel like you will never be good enough, or you feel like you can never make anyone happy.....it's time to be free and happy. Go ahead, read the first line of the next paragraph out loud. Then scream it until you believe it.

SCREW WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS!!!!!!!! It's that simple. It is time to stop trying to be the "best" at anything. It is time to stop trying to impress everyone else. Be happy with who you are. Your husband is with you because he loves who you are. He loved you before kids and he loves you now. Your children love you no matter what. So show them that you are STRONG! In modern day America, you don't have to be "an old school stay at home mom" or "the new amazing PTA mom." You can be whoever you want to be! So embrace it.