It's true when they say that missing someone comes in waves. For others, sometimes they come in waves and sometimes they come in like tsunamis; feeling like you can't breathe because all these memories and feelings come rushing back. Some days you're fine. You don't think about them at all. Then other days you hear a song on the radio or someone says a word that suddenly floods your brain with many memories and you're back to feeling that emptiness.
Missing someone when you shouldn't is hard.
You have to tell yourself that you weren't meant to be in their life anymore and neither were they. No matter what happened, they taught you something. They taught you a valuable lesson and that's only up to you to decide what that lesson is. This situation does not only apply to dating and relationships, but to friendships as well.
You don't necessarily miss them, you miss how they made you feel.
You think back on all the happy memories, right? All the laughs, adventures, the times they made you feel so special and amazing, but you're neglecting all the negative things they made you feel, too. Maybe you weren't prioritized. They liked your attention, but couldn't really give you all of theirs. Maybe you couldn't fully trust them. Maybe they made you feel like you did something wrong. It hurts, doesn't it? You think back to yourself, wondering how you missed all those red flags.
That's perfectly OK. You can't beat yourself up over it.
That person you miss? They used to be the person you most looked forward to hearing from every morning and every night. To see their smile when you first walked in the door. To hear their laugh when you told a lame joke. They used to be the person you spent all your time with and that you confided in. But you know what? Things change. Feelings change. Unfortunately, that's life and it happens and we move on.
We can't possibly nitpick everything that happened, that's not healthy to dwell on. Instead, focus on what they did or said that made you feel good about yourself. Focus on how they made you feel after things ended and take those negative thoughts and turn them into something positive.
It's OK to miss them.
It's OK to feel and certainly OK to miss how they made you feel.
I will leave you with this:
"You are enough. You have always been enough. You have just been loving the wrong people."
Sheetal Tadiparty
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