You Don't Necessarily Miss Them, You Miss How They Made You Feel

You Don't Necessarily Miss Them, You Miss How They Made You Feel

And the memories come flooding back.


It's true when they say that missing someone comes in waves. For others, sometimes they come in waves and sometimes they come in like tsunamis; feeling like you can't breathe because all these memories and feelings come rushing back. Some days you're fine. You don't think about them at all. Then other days you hear a song on the radio or someone says a word that suddenly floods your brain with many memories and you're back to feeling that emptiness.

Missing someone when you shouldn't is hard.

You have to tell yourself that you weren't meant to be in their life anymore and neither were they. No matter what happened, they taught you something. They taught you a valuable lesson and that's only up to you to decide what that lesson is. This situation does not only apply to dating and relationships, but to friendships as well.

You don't necessarily miss them, you miss how they made you feel.

You think back on all the happy memories, right? All the laughs, adventures, the times they made you feel so special and amazing, but you're neglecting all the negative things they made you feel, too. Maybe you weren't prioritized. They liked your attention, but couldn't really give you all of theirs. Maybe you couldn't fully trust them. Maybe they made you feel like you did something wrong. It hurts, doesn't it? You think back to yourself, wondering how you missed all those red flags.

That's perfectly OK. You can't beat yourself up over it.

That person you miss? They used to be the person you most looked forward to hearing from every morning and every night. To see their smile when you first walked in the door. To hear their laugh when you told a lame joke. They used to be the person you spent all your time with and that you confided in. But you know what? Things change. Feelings change. Unfortunately, that's life and it happens and we move on.

We can't possibly nitpick everything that happened, that's not healthy to dwell on. Instead, focus on what they did or said that made you feel good about yourself. Focus on how they made you feel after things ended and take those negative thoughts and turn them into something positive.

It's OK to miss them.

It's OK to feel and certainly OK to miss how they made you feel.

I will leave you with this:

"You are enough. You have always been enough. You have just been loving the wrong people."

Popular Right Now

I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit:

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

To My Dog In Her Old Age, Your Day Is Soon Approaching–Until Then, Let's Spend All The Time We Can Together

I will never take our time for granted


14 years have come and gone with my best friend by my side. I couldn't have asked for a better companion to grow up with. There's nothing in this world that beats the feeling of coming home to a wagging tail, and it's something that should never be taken for granted.

You are definitely not the same dog you used to be now that you're getting older. You used to love going for walks, but now you pout every time I pull out the leash. You used to run around and bark whenever someone came home, but now we're lucky if you can even hear the door open.

You wobble when you walk and sometimes you slip and fall, but you get right back up again and brush it off. You sleep for most of the day and the most exciting part of your day is eating. You are officially a senior dog, which means your time to go will be here before you know it.

But I don't pay attention to how much you've changed. I only focus on the puppy that you still are. You still play and chase your tail. You still get super excited to see me after being home alone all day. You still love long car rides with the windows down so you can try to bite the other cars as they drive by.

You may be 14 years old, but you've never outgrown your puppy personality. At least now you don't chew holes in the couch.

You are a dog, and dogs are here to make us happy. They are here to make us feel less alone. And you have done just that. You have spent your whole life making me and my family as happy as we could be. You have gone everywhere with us to make sure that we are happy no matter what. By simply existing, you have made me happier than I've ever been. You did your job, and you did it well.

Every day brings us closer to the day you'll say goodbye forever. And when that day comes, it will be devastating for everyone who loved you. But that day isn't here yet, so until then, let's spend all the time we can together.

Related Content

Facebook Comments