For as long as I can remember I've been an independent child. I started watching my younger siblings as a third grader and ever since I've just kind of found my way. I would go to sleep away camps and not look back. I was ready to experience everything that life had to offer me every time I was able to experience something new. I went to New York City for 10 days by myself and it didn't phase me. Like I said, I've always been the kind of person that could be away from home and not really miss it. I always called my parents and told them about what was happening but I was living in the moment where I was.
As I transitioned into college I was super excited. I remember being so stressed that I wouldn't be able to figure out where I would go on time and that I wouldn't be able to find the perfect roommate. (proud to say that I did find both of those things.) I moved into college late in August and just remember being so caught up in the excitement of it all. Seeing my floor mates for the first time and the busyness around me. It didn't really sink in that I would miss being away from my parents for awhile.
I can honestly say I wasn't homesick for the first month and a half of school. There was plenty to do and plenty to keep me busy so I wasn't constantly thinking about what was happening at home. I also remembered to call weekly for the most part so I was always talking to my parents. I think it was after parent's weekend when I went home for the first time that it really hit me. I was only home for a day but I was able to see my brother and sister go to homecoming and that's when it hit me that I wouldn't always be there for everything they did.
I chose a school 4 hours away. I love my school and everything that comes with it but what I didn't expect was to be so homesick. I didn't realize that offering to stay an extra night just so a friend had a ride to the airport would be so difficult. While I love being at school with all of my friends, there really isn't anything more comforting than sleeping in my own bed and talking to my parents in person.
By the end of the first semester, I was ready to go home and be there for weeks at a time. Christmas break couldn't come soon enough and by the end, I honestly didn't want to go back to school. I just wanted a little more time to spend with my family instead of going back. It sounds really dumb because most people can't wait to get back to school to see all of their friends, but it just wasn't the case for me.
The hardest part about being homesick for the first time was processing my feelings. It's hard to find people that feel the same way that you do the older you get.
I hated myself for being so homesick because of how independent I had always been.
It was after talking to a few friends that I realized it was a totally normal feeling that I have. Being homesick just means that I have a connection with my family that makes me want to be home and at school at the same time. Feeling homesick isn't something to be ashamed of and will only ease itself with time.
