It is no secret that going off to college changes a person. College is a journey, and it is truly life-altering. One thing I did not realize when I moved away to college was that things back home would never be the same again. It is a realization that makes your heart sink at first, but with time you come to accept the change and embrace your new life.
I went home for the first time in the beginning of November. I was thrilled to be going back after nearly two months of being away, but once I had been there a whole day I was anxious to get back to school. I was undoubtedly happy to be with my family, but things did not feel right. Everything seemed the same, but I no longer felt like I fit in. This was a terrifying feeling because it made me question whether being home made me happy anymore.
The contrast between being away at college, and being home was one I could not ignore. I had gotten used to being away so being back home where I did not have the same freedom and the same surroundings threw me off. The entire time I spent home I just wished I was back at school.
My theory for why I felt the way I did was that I have become a different person, and I no longer enjoy my old lifestyle. This, however, was not true. Yes, I had definitely changed as a person, but that does not mean that I suddenly hate being home. The truth is being home would never feel like it once did, but you have to learn to adapt because you cannot avoid going back.
It is going to suck when you go home for the first time after being away at college for a long time, but remember that regardless of how much you have changed you will always belong. It is important to acknowledge that you now have two homes, and even if one does not feel like home anymore it does not mean you should disregard it. It is understandable that you have grown as a person, and might feel uncomfortable being home at first, but make an effort to allow yourself to enjoy being home because your family definitely enjoys having you back.
