Today, nine years ago on a Wedneday, was the last full day that I got to spend with you. Tomorrow, October 18th, 2007, early in the morning you passed away and my entire world changed forever. I remember the anger, confusion and pain I felt like it was yesterday. I still feel it. I still search for the same answers. Why didn’t I get to keep you in my life? Who will walk me down the aisle? Why don’t I get to have my father at my graduation? It changed my life forever.

I remember the night I left the hospital, I stayed there ’til about midnight. My mother, grandmother and your cousin were all there and we prayed over you. The medicine had passed through your system, you were lucid, and for the first time, you looked at me as if you could really see me. You barely blinked and your eyes were locked on mine.

I told you I loved you, that I had always loved you and always will. I remember the times you took me fishing, the time you took me to the Grand Canyon, to the border of Mexico, my first time on a plane with you, when I painted Ian’s toenails and you didn’t get angry, when I had an asthma attack and you about fainted, the times you laid on the floor in my room because I was afraid, when you would swing me in circles and I would feel like I was flying and the thousands of times you told me you loved me. I love you.Today was the last full day I was able to spend with you. To this day, October 18th is one of the worst days of my life, every single year. But I will celebrate you and thank God that you are with Him, no longer in pain and that I can rejoice in the fact that I will one day see you again.