“People who are unhappy may get some consolation from knowing that others are unhappy too.” - The American Heritage
Why does misery love company?
Miserable people are content with being miserable and they can’t stand to see people happy, this is why they seek out to bring people down.
I’ve held on to a lot of relationships that brought me down without noticing, and now that I’m in a better place in my life, it gave me a chance to reflect to see where this dark cloud had came from. I realized it was because I was surrounded by the wrong crowd. You know that famous quote “Misery Loves Company”? Yes, I was surrounded by a bunch of miserable people.
Misery comes from jealousy and resentment and attracts more if itself. In this case, I was the company of misery and pretty soon I turned out to be the misery who loved company. “Birds of a feather flock together.” I'll admit, the company I kept throughout my whole life wasn't the crowd I should've been around. I made friends with different crowds to have a lot of "friends," but doing that made me realize how powerful the statement "quality over Quantity" is.
Being around negative vibes can influence negativity in your life, but not if you avoid it. Find company that celebrates your presence and not just "tolerates" it, because if you're just tolerated, you're not really liked or respected. You're just an option that seems "fun" at the moment. And you should want to be around people who can uplift you.
How can you avoid being the company of misery?
Well, here's a how I've been managing.
1. Set your limits with friends.
If you find yourself hanging around a crowd and realize the ONLY thing you guys converse about is other people and their drama. Try to escape those relationships.
Even though the "tea" can seem interesting, you have to keep in mind that those who gossip with you will gossip about you.
2. Don't sell yourself short.
If you find yourself giving the same person chance after chance, just simply cut ties.
Some people can be manipulative, and those are the type you should keep an eye on. They try to manipulate you into making you think that they're this "good" person when they really aren't. Go with your gut feeling and leave this relationship alone!
3. Rise above the negativity.
If you notice someone is always thinking negative, try to steer away from them.
These types of people seek sympathy for their failures and they try to relate to you in some way to create this "miserable bond." Rise above it and don't let anyone limit your happiness with negative thinking. Distance yourself.
4. Seek positive influences.
When I realized my life was going downhill right before my eyes, I knew for certain that I didn't want to live like this. I sought positivity everywhere, whether it was from going to Church, praying with God, talking to family, or even introducing myself to people who had a lot going on.
If you are an introvert, trust me, so was I. I know it may seem hard to make friends with just anyone, but in order to grow, you should strive to build positive relationships in your life. Energy transfers. Once you find good people and rebuild your circle, I'm sure that the sun will start to shine in that dark cloud because it worked for me.
When I say seek positive influences, that can be anything, but make sure you have GOOD friends in your circle. Search for people who are uplifting. People who make you want to be a better person, make you laugh even when you're down and add value to your life.
Picking the right company is hard, some people are poisonous and the only reason we keep negative people around is because we feel lonely. We have to go through a lot of trial and error before we find the right crowd that can put you in a situation to win, rather than drain your energy. Pay attention closely to who you give your time to because all it takes is one bad friend to bring your energy down. Evaluate your friendships, so you won't be the company of misery.
