We need to talk about something. It is a common issue that many still shy away from. Miscarriage. One in four women will experience a miscarriage in their life. Think of all the women you know who have had a baby. One of them has most likely experienced a miscarriage.
I experienced a miscarriage on June 6, 2015. I was 10 weeks and five days pregnant, I went into the hospital with some spotting and we did an ultrasound and saw some spotting. Everything was fine. I saw my baby for the first time and was overjoyed. I tried to relax and take it easy, but I was beyond scared. I went into the hospital two days later, and they couldn't find a heartbeat. I was in the worst pain I had ever felt at that point.
Once everything was all said and done, my doctor said I passed everything and physically I was fine; I tried being strong. My husband and I's best friends flew halfway around the world to visit, so I was determined to not let it affect me. Big mistake!
I got depressed, and once they left my emotions went crazy. I fought with my husband more and hid in the house when I wasn't working. I had my birthday party, and it was one of the few times I was really happy. But one thing they don't tell you after a miscarriage is that Postpartum Depression is possible.
I knew a few women who have had a miscarriage and I found comfort in talking to them. But I had to talk to my husband. I was so caught up in my emotions and so angry that I didn't even think of him. In the middle of an argument, he told me, "I lost a baby too." It killed me, and I realized I was being selfish.
Once we cried and talked about it, I decided it was time to tell others. I made the hard decision to announce on Facebook. I saw an article and used it to my advantage. I told everyone that I had experienced the miscarriage and that it's more common than we know.
Three months after my miscarriage, I found myself pregnant again. I was more terrified than elated. I was scared something was going to happen again. I was trying to be as careful as possible, but working in scuba shop made it almost impossible. I waited until my first ultrasound to announce the pregnancy at 12 weeks. I wasn't as scared as when I found out I was pregnant. I had come to terms with my loss and became excited about my baby.
Today, my baby boy is three months. He is a rainbow baby from heaven. I am beyond blessed to have him in my life. Hopefully, by sharing my story, other women will seek help and tell their own story. I want you all to know you are not alone and are more than welcome to reach out to me. And it does get better. Not quickly but it will, I promise.
