Mind Wander: A Poem

You look at your past failures

Each of them pebbling over your heart

Sinking you closer and closer to the ground

To the point where you're waist deep

And no energy to get out

And yet you keep lying

Not for your own benefit

But for everyone else

So that they don't all know how much you're falling

And to somehow delude yourself of it too

Why are your thoughts invisible

Why don't you have the courage to voice them

Why doesn't anyone look for them

Why has this become blaming?

You keep searching but unsure of what

Satisfaction?

Assurance?

Rejection?

Acceptance?

Everything's going oh so fast

But ever so slow

That you have a tough time catching up

And an even harder time holding your breath

Wondering what's the point of running if you have nowhere to run to

And you're unsure what's stopping you

Opinions, yourself and the presence of ticking time

Confusing and bundling

Suffocating and turning

Filled with intertwining paths

And personalities left behind

That you wish you could choose more paths

Stare off, mind blank

Yet deliver warm smiles, hiding warm eyes

And hope those thoughts wander

Without presence in it