Grieving sucks.
And to add on top of that? Grieving doesn't ever hit you the same way twice. Sometimes, it's a little murmur in the back of your head you're able to shake away. Other times, grief drowns you. Trying to comprehend that someone you love just died and is never coming back makes you want to melt away into the ground.
The thoughts just flood in over and over again. What to do? How can we escape this unbearable feeling?
The thing is...there is no escape. But something I've been beginning to learn is, there is communication. Despite all our pain, we still crave human connection. Connection and sharing, that at times can ease the pain...but never eliminate it entirely.
It's hard to open up, but you aren't alone with these feelings. If you have lost a loved one, these things have or likely will happen to you:
1. You lose your perception of time
Wait, you mean to tell me we are already halfway through the year? Whether it's months, weeks, or days, the idea of trying to keep up with time is useless. Days drag on, yet you blink and the week is over. Then you blink again because you got an eyelash in your eye and bam. It's been two months. You may not be able to follow time anymore, but don't let it stress you out, time is moving and so are you.
2. You feel like the elephant in the room
Let's face it. Death is hella uncomfortable. And the worst part? You were forced to get up-close and personal with it while everyone else was still able to live in ignorant bliss. Now, when you decide you want to socialize for once (I applaud you) it feels like all eyeballs are on you. Keep going...keep pushing through. You're doing great.
3. You think every “How are you?” is a emotional check in
You become so used to people "checking in" on you that a simple question of "how are you?" feels like someone just wants to know your emotional state. Don't feel bad though, it's not your fault.
4. You feel like you have this new level of spiritual connection to the universe
Anyone else think that every breeze, bunny in the grass, bird perched on the window, sunlight shining through the window is the dead trying to visit us? I promise you're not crazy…(because that would mean I'm crazy too.)
5. You feel like you’ve hit max with “worrying”
Your dad said he'd be home at 7 and it's 7:30 - what if a truck just totaled his car and he's stranded on the side of the road with a smashed phone?
Your little sister promised to let you know when she made it to her friend's house...but no response from her yet. She's just been kidnapped. You just know it.
First of all slow down and let's take a breather. The worst imaginable thing just happened to you. Of course, everything is going to worry you. It's frankly exhausting and annoying because no matter how hard you try to relax, your body has gotten so used to a constant and heightened sense of foreboding that it can't let go.
The hardest thing we will ever hear is that someone we love has died. The hardest thing we'll ever do is live every day after that moment. A loss is just that: the endless absence of something that means everything to you. These feelings of loss, anxiety, and pain are inescapable, but in each of these feelings is the knowledge and comfort of a great love that existed, that still exists, and will always exist. The feeling of endless love that will never die.
- Understanding The Stages Of Grief | BetterHelp ›
- After 17 Days And 1000 Miles, A Mother Orca's 'Tour Of Grief' Is Over ›
- Grief: Coping with the loss of your loved one ›
- Understanding Grief - The New York Times ›
- Grief: Physical Symptoms, Effects on Body, Duration of Process ›
- Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler ›
- Grief | Psychology Today ›
- Grief.com - Help For Grief Because LOVE Never Dies ›
- Grief - Wikipedia ›
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