Why is that when we want something it is like all that we have goes out the window? Ah, destination-happiness. The mindset that happiness is in the next destination, the idea that happiness is in the next job, the next person, the next opportunity, leaving you feeling unsatisfied, unhappy, and exhausted at all times.
As millennials, we are pros at swiping, searching, and seeking out our next source of momentary happiness. For millennials, happiness tends to come in rushes and nothing is ever really permanent when it comes to feelings. Whether it's a new face on an app, a new car you saw on Instagram, or a new pair of shoes someone snagged before you and posted to Facebook, we all feel the need to constantly search. We search for the things we want, and the things we don't want, and we want to see who has them, ultimately so we can compare ourselves and our lives.
When we are seeking out love all we see are pictures of happy couples, yet we can't stop being so engulfed in our own lives long enough to care about someone just a little more than ourselves. When an available person does take an interest in us, we can go on Instagram and scroll until someone new catches our eye and we decide that maybe we don't really want to commit, there is so much out there in this big world, right? When in reality, we have probably missed many opportunities at real relationships because we were constantly comparing, searching out information on them to pick apart, and then deciding maybe we really weren't ready, because truth be told, real people with real emotions are a lot of WORK, it's a lot of feelings, and this is a whole lot of scary.
Real people require a lot more love and attention than our Instagram crush who lives in fairytale land. All of a sudden this becomes too much. When maybe the anxiety would go away if we simply put down the technology and stopped bombarding ourselves with so many images. Maybe if we looked at the earth around us and not our phones we wouldn't be so anxiety ridden. We wouldn't know so much, we wouldn't compare so much, and we wouldn't care so much.
If it is not a person we are searching for happiness in, it is a monetary item. We want the new Range Rover that Instagram famous girl has, whose parents are business executives in the city. She has one so we deserve one, right? No. You won’t find happiness in the Instagram famous' girl’s designer car or in her plethora of plastic surgery because if she found happiness in it, she wouldn't have to post to one million followers a day in search of validation through empty likes.
What can possibly fill this void that us millennials all feel SO deeply? We are constantly searching, chasing our tails, hoping someone will care, hoping we will stumble on love and success, and we are NEVER happy with what we have, because we compare our real lives to five hundred of our closest Instagram followers highlight reels. You have in a social media scrolling blur smashed together Jenny's Range Rover, with Anna's perfect marriage, Sara's perfect job, and Becca's six pack abs, but none of them have it ALL, we just see it as so because after hours of scrolling, it all just seems like one person’s big giant perfect life, that we don't have. We often forget all that we have in those moments. Before we know it, all that we have becomes obsolete. We are not thankful for our stable family life, or our stable job, no no, because that's not a glamorous Instagram post worth thousands of likes and bragging rights. Do you want your life to look good or feel good?
We have gotten it all wrong with the emergence of technology, but it is not too late to go back a couple steps and get it right. We can still find fairytale love, but not with the kid thousands of miles away with the perfect teeth and car, who you compare every guy that tries approaching you to, your knight in shining armor might just be the goofy kid down the road who makes you laugh, and he probably is just as charming, but you will only know that if you get your head out of your phone long enough to realize.
Getting happiness out of the life you currently lead is possible. Happiness is not around the next corner or in getting thousands of likes on Instagram. Happiness is in putting your phone down and having a meal with your family and talking, seeing the sparkle in the eye of your family members as they tell you about their day. Happiness is in spending time in nature and realizing the beauty that is all around us. Happiness is in wanderlust and traveling and seeing things you have never seen or experienced before. Happiness is looking in the mirror and knowing that you don’t need three filters and an hour of editing on your picture on Instagram to look or feel beautiful. Happiness is creating a life filled with purpose and meaning and memories that you created while not hooked up to technology. Happiness is seeing health in the eyes of a sick loved one for the first time in a long time. Happiness is being grateful for all that you currently have, right now.
One day, you will find someone to love and who loves you just as much, someone who cares about how your day went, and someone who sees perfect where you see imperfect. One day, you will feel success in your life whether it be in work or in other areas you have been trying to work on that have kept you up at night, leaving you feeling drained. One day, you will feel happiness like you never imagined was possible. Just know that feeling like you can’t be happy right now because you aren’t where you want to be isn’t a good excuse to not be happy. Know that happiness is not around the next corner, happiness is right now.
