To The Military Spouses Who Are Barely 20 Years Old

To The Military Spouses Who Are Barely 20, Never Forget YOU Are The Captain Of Your Life

You don't have to answer anyone's nosy questions.

To The Military Spouses Who Are Barely 20, Never Forget YOU Are The Captain Of Your Life

As a soon-to-be military spouse, I've gotten every question under the sun.

Seriously. I really need to get my hands on this "marriage guide" everyone seems to have that tells them the steps to take when getting married and planning a future. Sometimes it seems they know far more than I do about my own relationship.

Here are the most common questions I get asked:

Why are you rushing?

Ladies, remember no one deserves an explanation for why you are doing something. If it feels right and makes you happy, go for it. But if for some reason you feel an urge to explain it to someone, make sure you tell them these things.

1. There is a difference between rushing and wasting time. Rushing is making something happen quicker than it should and probably destroying it in the long run, conversely, not wasting time involves doing something you have known was right for a long time.

2. Getting married at 20 does not mean you are missing out on any experiences. You are making the decision to experience your life with someone you love, whether that is at 20 or 65, that's what marriage is about.

What if he gets deployed?

This is one of those questions that makes me shake my head. Whether my husband is right beside me or 5,000 miles away, we vow to be faithful no matter the distance. Deployments should not determine whether or not your relationship lasts. This is normally a question I get from my civilian friends, which is fine, but that is the same as me asking "Well, what if your husband goes on a business trip without you?" Distance should not be looked at as a negative thing, it is true, the Lord puts two people in a long-distance relationship to see how far love can really travel.

Are you pregnant? Is that why?

We need to eliminate this stigma saying people can't get married before 25 unless they're pregnant. There does not have to be a child involved or on the way for two people to decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together. It is so disrespectful for someone to assume two people are only making a lifelong commitment because of a baby, rather than thinking rationally, that two people, I don't know... might simply love each other and want to be together for the rest of their lives?! I really don't understand why people see this as such a far-fetched concept, it's pretty simple.

If you've been in the same position, I feel you. But, make your decisions for the sake of yourself and your spouse. No one else.

People may not always understand your decisions, some may say you are crazy, and that is OK. But if you always make decisions that feel right in your heart, you will be happy. There are people who get married after being together for 10 years and get divorced a year later.

There are also couples that have known each other for two weeks, get married, and stay together for 25 years. There is no timeline when it comes to love. Do what feels right, love your spouse on the good days and the bad, and remember that although people may look at you funny, you are in control of your future (well, maybe after the Department of Defense, but you get it).

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