It’s amazing the things that you learn when your other half is sent across the globe with the United States Military. It is one of the most eye opening and heart breaking experiences that you’ll ever encounter. While I wish that my significant other could be here with me instead of far away, there is not a minute I would change because I would rather him 7,000 miles away from me than have someone else beside me.
There are a great deal of things to know for the span of time that you’ll be apart, past, present and future. The first and most important thing is to always put your partner first. And don’t expect to be put first. The person you love is about to leave everything they know and love behind and go someplace they’ve never been, sometimes with people they’ve never met. They spend all their free time doing things without the people they hold dearest to their hearts. They have to plan holiday celebrations around their shifts, or opt out of the celebrations altogether. This will be some of the hardest times for them, whether they express this or not. Put them first and don’t expect the same in return. Send them care packages frequently to let them know that they’re loved. Surprise them with things they love from their hometown. Go out of your way to make these times easier for them.
That being said, surround yourself with people who will be there for you on the good and the bad days. Don’t feel bad for reaching out day after day for a little moral support to get you through. If you have amazing people in your life, lean on them. You’ll grow closer to them than you ever thought possible, and it’ll help you tremendously.
There will be a lack of communication, find a way to connect and share all the little details you would usually share if he or she were home. Jot down the things you want to share with them and go through the list when you’re FaceTime with them. It may seem like a lot to share all at once, but it’s so important to maintain the same conversations. My fiancé and I bought each other journals for the 13 months we’ll be apart. We try to write as often as possible and then we plan to swap journals when we get home. It not only allows you to share more, it makes you feel like you’re talking to them while you’re writing to them!
Do not and I mean do not read or watch the news in relation to where they will be stationed. It’s tempting to want to know what’s going on. But I have made the mistake many of times and caused myself to have anxiety attacks thinking about what could happen to him. People will talk to you about things that are happening but try to tune it out and don’t research any further information.
Don’t ever waste a goodbye. Don’t resent them because they have to leave you again. Make every moment, a moment to remember. Sending them off with the lingering thought that you are not okay will only make them worry and will only make you regret the conversation as time goes by. Them leaving is a part of a career that they chose to defend the freedoms that we have. Honor that sacrifice and be proud to know someone who so selflessly is giving up time with their loved ones to fight for our country.
Cry, dear lord. Cry your heart out if you need to. Don't worry about letting people think that you're the strongest person. This will be one of the hardest things your relationship will endure, so naturally, you'll want to cry and cry. Don't be afraid to stay home one weekend because you're sad. Watch all the sad movies you want and eat all the chocolate you want. Let your feelings out because holding them in
Lastly, keep yourself busy. Go to that concert with a friend, go on a trip to somewhere new, do fun things that will make the time go by faster and things that will help make the time without him or her enjoyable!! Now I know exactly what it’s like to want to lay in bed or on the couch all day and do nothing. You’re allowed a period of time to do that as often as you’d like, but before too much time goes by, get yourself up, and get going! You won’t regret it. And before you know it, your countdown will be halfway over!
