There seems to be an everlasting hype around dating someone who is in the military. However great it may be and besides all the cute surprise videos that pop up on the internet there is a lot more that goes on behind the scenes of a long distance military relationship. Having a relationship that is long distance is not only hard, but it tests the limits that you and your partner are willing to go. As well as the strain of never being able to see them or have them be a part of your day to day lives there is still somewhat of a difference between just dating someone who is far away, and dating someone who is in the military.
Having a relationship with someone in the military not only tests how far both of you are willing to go for each other but it also shows how strong you are as an individual. These are a few ways that you can make your relationship easier with your significant other.
Getting Out:
There are a lot of things that you can do for yourself when your other half is not around. Having a good support system is always a good idea. Making friends who understand what you are going through and helping you take your mind off of the distance between you and your partner. Getting out of your house is key because locking yourself up does not do anyone any good. Do not be afraid to make memories by yourself because a relationship is never just about one person. Waiting for your partner to just come home will leave you with nothing to talk about when they do, so get and go make some good stories!
Leave the Attitude At Home:
Your partner does not have control over what they can and cannot do while they are in the military. Therefore not being okay with them leaving or not seeing you for long periods of time will not help you move forward. Getting on board with the military lifestyle should be the first item of business before you say yes to any relationship. Anyone who is in the military will know that their jobs are already stressful and there is no one who would want to come home from a stressful job to a stressful relationship.
Avoiding Worry 101:
The worst thing that you can do to yourself during their absence is turning on the news. No matter what is going on in the world you cannot stress yourself out if your partner is deployed or even getting ready to be. There will always be something to worry about when you turn on the news because even if they are not going there something similar could happen at any moment. Stressing yourself out will not make their time away easier, therefore, the only solution is having faith that everything will be okay.
Clearance Struggles:
There are many tasks that will be asked of your partner, you must understand that once they have entered into the military they are given a certain level of clearance so that those tasks asked of them may be performed. However just because you are dating or even married to someone with a higher level of clearance that does not mean that you are allowed to know what they know. For public safety, there are rules that are set in place and being mad that your partner cannot share information will only cause more arguments. Moral of the story, respect that some things you cannot know.
Got Plans?
There is no such thing as a set plan once you have entered into the military. Making plans will only make both of you frustrated because they will change ten more times before they are actually carried out. There will always be more to do in the military and your plans do not compare to the safety of the rest of the population. Take Dory’s advice and just keep swimming because that is the only way you will be able to keep your relationship alive. This is one of the hardest habits to kick, but plans just do not work.
Communication Please:
Even though plans are not a thing in the military that does not mean that communication can completely die out within a relationship because communication is needed for all relationships. Talking about if a plan is going to change (which it will), if there is a way around the conflict or even if the plans you’ve made will happen sometime in the near future. Just talking about what happened in your day will exponentially help. Talking about anything other than the military will also keep your partner's minds off of their jobs. Just like anyone else who comes home from work and does not wish to talk about just their jobs for the rest of the day.
I am new to a military relationship and with all of the people whom I’ve met who have been or who are currently in a military relationship, there are a lot of things that go into keeping that relationship alive. Even with all of the extra work that goes into a military relationship it has the same pay out as a normal relationship except you get to be one hundred percent prouder of your significant other. If you can only take one piece of information away from, make it that there will never be enough time with your other half. Spend it making memories instead of fighting over the little things that you will not remember in a couple of days or weeks. Make the time that you have with each other count.
