Nearly every middle child goes through many of the same trials during childhood, and now, after finishing my first semester at college, I’ve realized that a lot of what I experienced as a middle child has prepared me for many of the challenges and experiences of college.
I think what I noticed first is how independent I already was.
There’s a myth that the oldest child is usually the most independent. Anyone else hear that before? I don’t know where it came from, honestly. Granted, they are the first child to go through all the stages of growing up, but that in no way makes them more or less independent. Being the middle child gave me the courage to walk through the early stages of freshman year with confidence and independence that I would not have picked up anywhere else.
As I made my way through orientation, formal recruitment and eventually classes on my own, I noticed that I was already prepared to make decisions and handle myself without many (although there were a few) slip-ups. I didn’t worry about putting myself in new situations because of the fact that I had already done so before without any helicopter parenting, and I am beyond grateful for that.
Being the middle child also prepared me for all of the responsibilities you pick up once you begin college.
After becoming an older sibling, I inevitably helped in caring for my younger sister. Although I might have resented the countless weekends spent being a free babysitter in my early teens, and the transformation into a taxi driver at the age of 16, I realize that caring for a younger sibling teaches you responsibility in a way that no pet dog or cat you convince your parents to get you ever could. On nights when I just wanted to skip dinner and eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s to help me finish an essay, I would think back to when my sister just wanted to eat junk food for dinner and realize that I had to be healthy, too. This also came in handy when helping friends who needed me. Being an older sibling provided me with just the right things to say and do when the stress of college became too much for my friends.
And finally, I’ve learned that I shouldn't compare myself to everyone else.
As a younger child, there’s always the mentality that I need to keep up with the benchmarks set by my older sibling. Growing up has taught me that that is not the case. Everyone is different. When I find myself upset that I don’t go to the gym as much as some of my sorority sisters, or if I stress about not being in as many clubs as my friends, I realize that I shouldn’t be upset, because I am a different person. I have other things in my life that are more important to me, like my job or my grades, and these differences don’t make me any better or worse than anyone else. They just make us who we are.
When I look back on my first semester and see how being the middle child led to a relative familiarity in dealing with many of the struggles freshmen face in college, I resent any idea that being the middle child is an unlucky fate. Being the middle child was some of the best preparation for college I could have received.
