Disclaimer: you might be in a relationship now and you only clicked on this article to see how wrong it is. You have every right to do that, and if you’re happy in your relationship CONGRATULATIONS. Seriously, being happy with someone else is a complete accomplishment especially if you’ve been in a relationship for more than two or three years and see a bright future with your significant other.
If you’re new to “Team Single” then this one’s for you. It’s an awful experience at first, being without another person all of the time. Sharing your day with someone, sharing your meals with someone ect. However think of it this way: you’re sharing these things with yourself.
That’s when you need to ask yourself: how well do you actually know yourself.
Are you sure you love cheese fries? Because maybe you only do because of the memories that connatate with them.
Do you actually love Justin Timberlake? Because maybe you just got accustomed to listening to that genre because your ex loved listening to it all the time.
Think back to when you were single, before you were dating your previous ex and ask yourself what have you given up since then? You know you’ve done it, you know that you stopped listening to some of your favorite bands because you’re ex wasn’t really into it. And there’s other things you’ve probably have stopped doing and then started doing because of an influence of a certain person. Which that’s totally normal behavior, but I think now that you have a lot of time to yourself you should find out what you actually like.That takes a lot of time, and in your 20’s you’re going to want to spend that time finding out who that is.
…You need to find yourself.
People say this all the time. They try to connect it to this spiritual spew that we’re so tired of hearing by now. “Go out and travel to find who you really are-“ stop. You don’t have to travel to an exotic location to find yourself. Sure, travel it’s a great experience that everyone should go and do, but it’s not the only way to find yourself though, you can do that by spending time with yourself. How do you do that then? Actually be alone and in that time try new things that correlate to what you already like. It could be enveloping yourself in an early morning run at a local park you’ve never been to before if you love to workout, or trying a new workout class you’ve never had time to go to before at the gym. Go see the movie you know you wouldn’t have been able to see with your ex because you know they wouldn’t have liked it. Drive out to a Greek food festival, wine festival, a pumpkin patch to pick a pumpkin and decorate it by yourself. Maybe you hate pumpkins, great, have you ever smashed a pumpkin before? It’s as stress relieving as coloring an adult coloring book except more satisfying. Besides that, it’s fall now: there are so many seasonal things for you to do. The options are almost limitless. They’re especially limitless because you don’t need to wait on anyone else but yourself.
…You need to visit friends you haven’t seen in a while.
Maybe you had some friends you’ve been neglecting because you spent so much time with your ex. You know you’ve had friends that did it to you, and you know you might be one of those friends. The friend that always drags their S.O. out with them, or the friend that would rather stay in with their S.O. instead of their friends. Now there is no excuse, you can see and be with who ever you want. Try a lunch date with an old friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with. Grab coffee with someone you’ve lost touch with. Spend your time in good company and chances are that company hated your ex, and would love to see you without them again.
…You need to clean.
Clean everything. Your room, your car, your closet. Filter out everything anew. Even switching your living around will help you freshen your mind and clear it from negativity. Change in surroundings is beautiful for starting fresh.
Speaking of change, change something about your look. It could be the way you dress, or even the way you part your hair. Try a different look you’ve always wanted. There’s no one to impress but you.
Which also brings me to changing out your shower gels and shampoos. I’m not kidding this helps so much. Bringing new aromas while showering or around your home can help you start over. Whether you get your shower supplies from Walmart or Bath and Body Works go in and smell a bunch of products and pick one you think you might like to try. A new scent could do wonders for clearing your mind.
…You need to give yourself your all before you can give that to someone else.
When you’re fresh to a break up there so many things you need to do before you move on to a new person. In order for you to truly find someone who you will love you really do need to love your self. We’ve heard that from mass media sources time and time again, but it’s important to hear so I’ll say it again: you need to love yourself. That includes loving the way you look. Loving every flaw, every inch of fat or blemished piece of skin. Loving the way you speak or sing or act. You need to believe that you are a Queen. That includes guys too; if more guys acted like Queens they wouldn’t take as much as they do from girls because there are girls that screw guys over too. A way a Queen acts is the way any person can achieve and that’s the stereotypical way you’re imagining it to be. In plain terms: it’s not taking anyone else’s crap.
Break ups suck the life out of you however they revive you with something important: yourself. Take that for what it is, but eventually you’ll see what I’m talking about. Find yourself before you find someone to be with: take the time to be single.
