I was riding my bicycle and we were making our daily walk to get the mail, and you looked down at me and asked, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” It only took me three seconds to reply, "circle girl.” I started doing my new trick, bicycling in a circle...then it happened. I fell. You ran over me to comfort me while I cried and I looked into your eyes and said, ”I don't want to be circle girl anymore.” What struck me wasn't that I fell, or that "circle girl" wasn't a real job. It was the fact you let me always believe I could be whatever I wanted to be and you always believed in me, no matter what. That's why this is for you, mom.
Mom, you already know you're my best friend, and I already know I am your favorite daughter (don't worry, I won't tell). It's been a good eighteen years, chickadee, and I cant wait for more. But in this article, I'm just gonna thank you for a couple of little things.
Laughter.
Thank you for teaching me to find the joy in little things every single day, for teaching me to me that it is okay to laugh at everything whether people understand why I am laughing or not, for teaching me to tell jokes that no one thinks are funny, and, most importantly, teaching me to laugh at myself. I am an awkward human being and I get that from you - it's okay, I accept it.
Nicknames.
“Chickadee,” “whats up, buttercup,” “Sugar,” and so many more. The weirdest things that come out of my mouth I've probably gotten from you. But seeing peoples' reactions (whether you add a “-y pooh” or just rhyme their name with something else) is the funniest and most blissful thing in the world.
Being the ‘Mom.’
You're the most caring, thoughtful person I have ever met. You flourish though you have had major setbacks throughout life. Every day you wake up and do something for someone else. You made me the person I am today, by being an example of what a person with a servants heart looks like.
4. Being inviting.
You always tell me that I have never met a stranger, but let's be real mom, you've never met a stranger either. You always welcome people with open arms not knowing their backgrounds or sometimes their names. You constantly smile at strangers and ask “How are you.” You constantly amaze me when my friends talk to you about their lives more than they talk to me about it, solely because people know they can trust you right when they meet you.
5. For making me strong.
You amaze me every day, you haven't had an easy life mom. You have been through things that people would never dream of, but you come out triumphantly every single time. You are my reason for complimenting strangers, my reason for going to class every day, my reason for trying to be a better me everyday. I am so thankful to have you as my mom. You never let me not grow from what I am have gone through. You tell me that yes it's gonna be hard, but something good comes from every problem. You've been going through hell these last few months, I cant imagine how you feel, but mom. You have handled it with such grace, such strength that I hope and pray has rubbed off on me in some way. I know this life and this sickness has been so hard lately, but thank you. thank you for waking up every day and fighting like hell. Thank you for making me strong because you are strong. Thank you for being my role model of what a woman should be like. Thank you for showing me strength in myself, my friends, my family, my God. Thank you mom.
6. Helping me love myself.
It's hard being a teenager nowadays, constantly worrying about if my outfit looks good or if I look big in a certain outfit. You never let me leave the house without saying I looked pretty or something silly about boys thinking id look good, but honestly it wasn't ever about the boys or the friends I wanted to impress. I wanted to be more like you every time I left our house. I wanted people to see you in me, like I see your mom in you. While fixing me you made me love who I am, I see past the weird phrases and the horrible jokes I tell because you loved me past them. I know you see something in me just like I see it in you every day.
7. I’m sorry.
My worst memory is when we were leaving the mall and I was throwing a fit in the backseat over something dumb, I don’t even remember, and I told you “I hate you.” Three words and I saw a weird look on your face and as fast I had said it, your expression went back to normal. Three words. Three seconds. One breath was wasted on that sentence. If there's anything that I do know about you and me, is that we share a bond that I will never ever let go. I realized by the end of my senior year I am more like you than I thought. I'm sorry for the stupid fights, the angry words, the fits thrown, the feelings I must have made you feel. I am sorry for ever making you feel like I didn't love you. I love you more than words, more than life, more than everything that's in me. You’re my soulmate, chickadee, and my goodness am I thankful for that. I often relate to you as “my heart” and if only you understand the true weight of that sentence, you'd understand my profound adoration for you, Ma.
Sincerely,
A daughter who is striving to be more like her amazing, strong, courageous, generous, weird, crazy, loving, faithful mother with every breath she takes.
P.S.
You is smart
You is kind
You is beautiful
Inside and out.
