October 21, 2009. That date will forever be in my head. That is the day I learned just how much mental illness can affect someone. I have recently been having a really hard time with my mental health so this article seemed appropriate. No one should ever feel that this is their only option or have to go through losing a loved one to this.
Some people say that suicide is a selfish act. Every time I hear this said, my head spins around and I have a habit of going off on someone. If you think it is a selfish act, then mental illness is clearly something you do not deal with. Many people you know have had suicidal thoughts. I have. Not giving into them makes us stronger than most people think.
I deal with depression and anxiety. I know as far as mental illnesses go, I could have it worse. Sometimes those thoughts just take over and there is no escaping. It is an everyday battle for me and many others. Some people are not strong enough to win the battle. My uncle was one of these people.
He took his life because he was not himself. His mental illness had won. Your mental illness does not define you but it can change who you are. I urge you to get help if you deal with any mental illness. No one should have to deal with the aftermath that suicide leaves behind. Not only do they have to deal with the normal grieving process, they also have to deal with not knowing and wondering if they could have prevented this.
A lot of anger stems from loosing someone to suicide. You wonder why they left you. Why you weren't enough of a reason to stick around. My uncle was a very big part of my life and on a daily basis I think of how he would react to something. This often leads to me getting very angry because he is not here with me. It is the hardest loss I have ever had to deal with.
People deal with losing a loved one to suicide in different ways. Some see therapists to talk it out. Some deal with it on their own. Some never deal with it. I dealt with it by getting a tattoo for him. Granted it was six years later but it still helped me deal with some remaining issues.
I don't generally suggest such a permanent coping method but it's whatever works for you. The tattoo is on my left ribcage. He is as close to my heart as he can be now. It is a constant reminder to fight through the thoughts. I know I can never put my family through that again even though it sometimes sounds like the best option.
I learned firsthand how painful suicide is to everyone involved. Don't put your family through that. Reach out and get help. Someone will miss you. Someone cares about you. I care about you. You are stronger than this. Just hang in there because everything gets better. Suicide solves nothing because it just puts your pain on to someone else. Never think that is your only option. Never.
