College is supposed to be the time of your life. We see college being portrayed in movies like "Blue Mountain State, Animal House, and Legally Blonde. Everyone is happy, smiling, and barely having a care in the world. As great as this sounds, unfortunately it is nothing like what we thought it would be, especially for someone with a mental illness. I'm not going to lie, college is stressful. It is a never ending heap of homework, quizzes, due dates, projects, events, and everything else you could imagine. With a mental illness though, these already overwhelming situations are amplified and almost impossible to work with.
I have had trouble with procrastination since before I can even remember. I am all too aware of how terrible of a habit it is, but it is unfortunately extremely difficult to fix. The same exact situation always comes up where I don't do a project because I am overwhelmed by it, then the night before it's due comes and I am even more overwhelmed by it to the point where I break down. It frustrates me beyond belief that I go through this over and over even though in the back of my head I am aware of what the outcome will be. It seems like no matter how hard I try to not let it happen, I can never seem to find any drive or motivation to do it and the vicious cycle starts again.
Making friends can also be an extremely difficult process for someone struggling with mental illness. I am a very anxious person and I am constantly worrying about myself and what everyone else is thinking about me. I also have difficulty starting and keeping conversations with people who I am not very close with, and this, in turn, results in me being paranoid again about what they think of me. I drive myself crazy with the overwhelming thoughts that go through my head that I hope some day I can just ignore and go about my life happily.
Depression can flare up at anytime, anywhere. One second I can be happy, laughing with my friends, and the next minute I'll be on the verge of tears for no apparent reason at all. I may even have plans that I am super excited for, but all of a sudden have to cancel them because of it. I know my friends can understand that it's not my fault, but I can't help but feel guilty like I'm letting them down when it happens.
Mental health issues in college students are all too common. I have the utmost respect for anyone going to college and dealing with a mental disorder because I know first hand just how difficult it is. Everyone deals with stressful situations in their own way, but for someone who has a mental illness and for someone who doesn't, the results could have very different outcomes. So for everyone dealing with a mental illness, college or not, you can do it. You are stronger than you know and have all the potential in the world. Don't let the stigma say you can't-- prove it wrong and do everything you never thought you could.
