Whether it be depression, anxiety, OCD or some other mental illness, learning how to navigate through your day to day life with a mental illness is difficult. It’s even worse when it seems like everyone in the world has a comment, either about you or about mental health in general. Here is a list of 12 of the most common—and most frustrating—things people who struggle hear on a near daily basis!

1. “Just try to be more positive!”

Wow, I’m cured!

2. “You shouldn’t worry so much!”

It’s like I never thought of that before, what a new concept! Wow!

3. “Ugh, I was SO depressed when my favorite show got cancelled.”

No, you were sad. There’s a huge difference.

4. “I had SUCH bad anxiety over that exam!”

While, yes, some people do have anxiety that’s triggered by things like exams, a lot of the time when people say this they really mean they’re just really stressed. Yes, there is a difference.

5. “Oh my god that was so embarrassing, I’m going to kill myself!”

Spoiler alert: jokes about suicide are never funny, no matter who you’re saying them to. That’s not something to be taken lightly.

6. “But you have so much going for you, why do you feel like this?”

Because I do?? I don’t know, ask the chemical imbalance in my brain. I got nothing for you.

7. “Are you going to cancel plans again?”

Honestly I might, not because I want to but because I just can’t bring myself to leave the house. This doesn’t mean stop inviting me though, even if I don’t go I appreciate the gesture.

8. “Why don’t you go see someone about this?”

Because therapists are expensive and my insurance sucks. Next question.

9. “I thought people with OCD kept everything really clean? Why is your room so messy?”

Because I’m also depressed and don’t have energy to clean the mess that appears while I literally lay in bed and do nothing after work. Also, OCD manifests in different ways. For me, I usually have to write things out a bunch. For others, they keep their appearance and their space tidy. If this was a matter of choosing, I wish I was one of those people, but I’m not. Please leave me and my pile of laundry stacked on top of whiteboards alone, thank you.

10. “Really though, it’s all in your head.”

Well, yeah. That’s… that’s kind of how mental illnesses work. But just because it’s “in my head” doesn’t make it any less of a valid struggle.

11. “It’s just an excuse to be lazy.”

Yes, because I enjoy sitting on my phone scrolling in a depressed haze for six hours and then having panic attacks when I realize I’ve wasted six hours of my life doing nothing. I definitely want to be lazy.

12. “You just have to get over it.”

No, no I don’t have to “just” do anything. Struggling with a mental illness is an everyday battle with ups and downs, and exactly who are you to tell me how I’m supposed to cope with my struggle? Until you’ve experienced the hurricane in my head, you have no room to tell me anything about how I should be reacting. Thanks, but no thanks.