1. Listen.
Right after things go down, the most important thing to do for your best friend is to be there, and to listen to them when they need to talk about things. There are so many different feelings that occur following a breakup, and they can be very hard to sort out all by yourself. At first, they will likely be very sad, and then they will probably be angry.
2. Make them laugh.
Personally, my best strategy for surviving anything is to laugh. Whenever my loved ones are sad or upset, I find myself searching the Pinterest app on my phone, trying to find the meme that will make them smile when they're bawling, or give them some comedic relief as they endure the emotional pain that's associated with breakups. For one friend of mine, cat memes are the way to go, but for some of my other friends, it's minions with funny expressions, or cows. Have fun with this!
3. Bring them a surprise.
Although you're a poor college student, you can still find a little cash somewhere. (Check underneath the couch cushions, or the pockets of jeans you haven’t worn in a while, perhaps?) Give your friend a little something to brighten their day. Sometimes it's the little surprises that mean the most to people. Stop by Wal-Mart and grab a small bouquet of flowers for $5, or pick up their favorite candy bar at Charlie's when you're stopping there for lunch in the afternoon. Leave it on their desk or bed with a sweet little note that says something to the effect of "Just because I love you. Have a great day."
One great idea for a surprise could be a $10 iTunes gift card. Along with the gift card, give them a note with stellar list of songs that are ideal for getting through painful situations, moving on from love, being out on their own, and being single once again. I have provided an awesome list for you to start with.
The Best Breakup Playlist for a Bestie:
1. “Mama’s Broken Heart” by Miranda Lambert
2. “Problem” by Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea
3. "Roar” by Katy Perry
4. “Arms Around a Memory” by Hilary Duff
5. “Try” by Colbie Caillat
6. “Everybody’s Got Somebody But Me” by Hunter Hayes
7. “Mr. Almost” by Meghan Trainor
8. “Unkiss Me” by Maroon 5
9. “One Last Night” by The Vaults
4. Don't hang out with their ex.
I hope this goes without saying, but it's very important to stop hanging out with your friend's ex. This might be dependent on the situation, but as long as it's possible, try to make sure that you aren't hanging out with or communicating with this person anymore. It will make it much easier for your friend to move on and to stop thinking about this person. Also, it's likely that after you hear your friend vent, you won't have much interest in hanging out with them, anyway! But if you must, don't lie about it, but don't advertise it, either.
Instead, help your friend move forward by giving them a new group to hang with, whether that means introducing a friend from home to your college roommates or introducing a college roommate to a supportive set of friends from home. You could also go to parties on their campus or yours in order to meet some new people.
5. Make time for hanging out.
Take the time to hang out with your friend. It can be hard to schedule time for fun or for friends with jobs and college, especially if you yourself have a significant other, but it's important to make sure your friend feels supported.
Spend your Saturday night hanging at their apartment with them, or invite them to come over and hang out at your place. Get a stack of movies or video games. Sit down with a huge bag of popcorn (try BJ'S-size popcorn, Indiana brand kettlecorn), order a pizza, sushi, or Chinese and hang out, talk, and watch movies. Right now, your friend needs to know you're there and that you aren't going anywhere. Break ups can make a person feel somewhat abandoned and, as their friend, it's your job to try to make sure they aren't feeling alone.
Check out this Odyssey article from August 2015 for the best of Netflix for your ‘Night In’’ here.
For more Odyssey Online articles about navigating the single life, or, as I like to say, “flying solo,” check out my advice on moving on post break up, “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger” here and “7 Reasons Why You Should Stay Single,” which is about enjoying the single life, here.
