Recently, I stumbled upon an article about Ronda Rousey and her boyfriend, Travis Browne. Apparently, a meme is circulating about an alleged promise ring Rousey wore on SNL on Jan. 23, showing Rousey wearing a large, sparkly ring, and the caption reads “Is Rousey wearing a promise ring? As in 'I promise not to hit you like my current wife ring'?" Apparently the meme became even more popular after Browne’s ex (but legally, his current wife), fitness model Jenna Webb posted it on her Instagram, writing “Kudos to the people with a strong enough backbone to take ownership of the decisions they make, whether good or bad, mistakes or not -- who don't try to cover their tracks by changing their story to please society... Pet Peeve: When people think they can do stupid shit and not get called out on it... I'm pretty sure we're still married. When he hits you across your pretty face don't worry, I'll be right here to say #IToldYouSo I wish you both the best."
Webb accused Browne of beating her July 2015 and posted pictures of her body covered in bruises to her Instagram account, saying she was “still ashamed for staying as long as I did." These accusations have not been followed up with an investigation or criminal charges of any kind, but nonetheless, accusations of abuse should be treated as serious and worthy of being proven true or false for the sake of victims and their safety. However, I have to wonder, why is it OK for Webb to maliciously attack Rousey over social media for dating her estranged husband? How is Rousey at fault here?
When women are abused, we often hear that they initially chose not to come forward because they feared the repercussions or didn’t think anyone would believe them. I’ll say this nice and loud for everyone in the back: When someone is abused, regardless of their gender, it isn’t their fault. It is the fault of the abuser, not the victim. For Webb to attack Rousey in the way she did doesn’t show that she genuinely cares whether Rousey gets hurt, but is only immature and likely jealous. When a woman stays in an abusive relationship, we often see others blaming them for staying, when in reality, there is so much more to abusive relationships than physical harm. Abusive relationships are emotional, psychological and manipulative. They lead us to thinking that we love someone when in reality that person is hurting us and using our emotions to their own advantage.
When video footage was released of NFL player, Ray Rice, beating his now-wife, Janay Rice, it went viral and people immediately began pointing fingers, shaming Janay for staying and marrying the man who hit her so hard she fell to the floor unconscious. I’m in no way implying that what Rice did was OK. It was completely inexcusable and he deserves harsher punishment than he received, but instead was let off the hook because he’s a big star. However, people failed to recognize that when Janay defended her husband, she was displaying typical symptoms of a battered woman who will do anything to defend and protect her abuser.
We ought to be standing together to fight domestic violence. Regardless of your gender, when you blame women for being in an abusive relationship, you are perpetuating misogyny. This is the type of behavior that excuses abusers for their actions and makes it deemed socially acceptable for them to repeat them.
