Looking for the best, creepiest new toy to get your 10-year-old relative for the holidays? Want your 10-year-old relative to spend all of her time talking to a doll rather than forming meaningful bonds with real people who won't run out of batteries? Well, look no further: Barbie has just come out with a new girl: Hello Barbie.

In a video recently posted on YouTube, a Barbie representative demonstrates all that Hello Barbie can do by having a conversation with her in front of a group of people. First, Barbie teaches children that there are only three things that you can like about a place: food, fashion, or sights.

Rep: "Welcome to New York, Barbie!"

Barbie: "I love New York, don't you? Tell me, what's your favorite part about New York, the food, the fashion, or the sights?

The Barbie rep then goes on to demonstrate that Barbie will agree with literally anything you say:

Rep: "We like the food."

Barbie: "I love the food!"

Rep: "We are onstage."

Barbie: "Being onstage is exciting, isn't it?"

Rep: "I like eating cat hair"

Barbie: "That's cool! You have to take me to try it sometime!"

The rep then asks Barbie what she should be when she grows up. Barbie reasons that since the rep likes being onstage, she should become a dancing politician. What better advice for 10-year-old girls? As I always say, and I'm sure Hello Barbie would agree with, chase your dream job, even if it doesn't actually exist. Barbie even tells the rep that "Anything is possible." Yes, Barbie, it is possible to become a dancing politician onstage: first, you'll probably have to change your name to Kitty, Destiny, or Candy. But trust me, you won't be running for president.

Finally, the rep demonstrates Hello Barbie's most impressive skill: playing games and making jokes. Barbie's joke is that she has a superpower: she can be invisible, but only when no one's looking! The rep then emits a forced laugh closely resembling a chicken squealing or a puppy being stepped on. I'd laugh like that too, though, if I was being forced to demonstrate the World's Most Shallow Talking Toy.

In sum, Hello Barbie is basically anything anyone could ever want in a girl. She's as hot as a Victoria's Secret model, will agree with anything you say, can make terrible jokes, and will only move when you decide to take her somewhere. Pre-order Hello Barbie now: the best new role model for young girls everywhere!

Watch the Hello Barbie demonstration here: