Doctors Office
I hope I'm not that sick.
What if it's a disease?
I'm going to die.
It's just a cold.
I'll be okay.
Oh my God we're here.
I'm going to have to disinfect everything.
This is going to be so expensive.
Why is the waiting room so full?
I don't know what this sheet means.
She thinks I'm stupid.
Everyone is looking at me.
They know I'm sick.
Please don't call my name next.
Dammit.
Why do I weigh so much?
Just tell me I'm overweight.
Please don't touch me.
Shes talking about blood tests.
I'm not even listening to you.
I'm going to die.
I'm getting a blood test and its going to hurt.
No it wont, you'll be fine.
It's going to hurt so bad.
It's going to hurt for the rest of the night.
Just a pinch.
I wish I could leave.
Don't count down it makes it worse.
I did it.
I feel lightheaded.
I need to lay down.
I'm sweating.
My heart is beating too fast.
I cant stop shaking.
Everything is bright.
I'm going to throw up.
I'm fine. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm going to pass out.
I'm still not listening to you.
The sound of my own breathing is too loud.
She's going to call the mental hospital.
She'll laugh about me to her nurse friends later.
She says I need medicine.
I'm going to choke on the pills.
And die.
I'm okay.
It's just an ear infection.
I can breathe.
Walking
It's so nice outside.
I could do this forever.
Hopefully that car doesn't kidnap me.
It's getting closer.
Pepper spray him.
No, you're safe. He went away.
Breathe.
Keep your hand on the pepper spray.
Someone's running this way.
They want me.
Hold the pepper spray.
No they don't, they're just running.
I'm going to hold the pepper spray.
Please don't call the police.
They'll think I'm crazy.
This is completely sane right?
I'm just being careful.
What's that slithering?
Wheres the snake?
Please don't let it be a snake.
I don't want to get bit.
It's just a sprinkler.
This is how someone was kidnapped.
The woman watering her yard is calling the police.
The man coming up behind you wants to kidnap you.
Run.
Run.
Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run.
You're safe.
You're home.
Lock all the doors and don't put down the pepper spray.
Grab the knife just in case.
This is my life. This is everyday and these are just two scenarios. I live with fear going through my head on a constant loop. I am always on high alert and I can never catch a break.
I hope you like this article.
No you won't.
I'm a horrible writer.
No, I have a lot of people that love my writing.
I'm going to die of humiliation.
I should just quit.
No this is what I want.
Everything is okay.
This will be good.
Breathe.
No it won't.
You're gonna faiiil...
There's help for you and me. It doesn't have to be this way.
Crisis Line: (775) 784-8090, or 1 (800) 273-8255
All my love,
Madison
