The College Gym Is A Meat Market
Start writing a post

G-Y-M ought to be categorized with other unmentionable three letter words. Not only because the humans who exit are barely recognizable, but due to the voluntary torture that is undergone therein.

Faces that are usually contoured drip sweat like candle wax. Hair normally tamed with a blow dryer and brush is pulled back into a messy bun. Neon Nike shorts speed walk past. Men break out the muscle tees and loudly talk about how much they've been lifting recently.

After keying in your locker code, you pivot slowly and face rows of machines. A part of you dreads what’s coming- cardio, lots of cardio.

Glancing at the door you consider a hasty exit, but you aren’t ready to retract all those well-intentioned resolutions. A new semester, a healthier semester, you’d said. Then again, Alice once said in Wonderland, “I give myself very good advice, but I rarely ever follow it.”

With a sigh you slip on your headphones, committing to the impending exercise. Surveying your options, you pray for an empty machine armed with a wish list like a house hunter on HGTV. Preferably a treadmill against the back wall; ideally facing a window without anyone on either side.

Drat, no such luck.

From the front row a treadmill smirks at you and inclines its head. Trudging up to the machine, you try to ignore the blonde ponytail on your right. Gigi Hadid ‘s look-alike in leggings, glowing rather than sweating and somehow peacefully smiling while in a dead sprint. Meanwhile, you are concerned that you've already lost your water weight during the warm-up!

Many compare the monotony of trekking miles on a stationary machine to a hamster on a wheel. However, many forget that university gyms especially make one feel like a fish in a glass bowl. Everyone seems to be watching you breathe and there’s nothing to hide behind. So, you just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

Guys at the gym seem puffed up with pride or steroids (probably both.) They peacock around, flexing till their veins seem ready to pop! After lifting for all of two seconds, they strut across the front of the gym to get a drink of water. Mhm hmm, they are thirsty, in more ways than one.

Yet, you are not looking for Prince Charming to shoot you a smile whilst bench pressing, or look you up and down on his way to the watering hole (I mean drinking fountain...they aren’t animals, right?) Clearly, they misunderstand your intentions for your workout experience.

Allow me to lay it out, plain and simple. I go to the gym to pump some endorphins into my system and make sure that my clothes still fit because life is stressful. That being said, my weekly pilgrimages to the gym prepare my body and soul for social events. At said social events, I may cross paths with eligible gentlemen. (Notice, I did not say that I hoped to find Mr. Wonderful at the gym.)

As it turns out, the gym is a meat market. There’s some basic chicken, brawny beef, teeny-tiny ribs and some juicy steak. However, I will not partake. Consider this my formal proclamation, I am a gym vegetarian. Let me eat my fresh greens in peace for my own health and sanity.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

58905
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

38029
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

959542
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

195693
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments