Let’s just go ahead and lay down one simple fact before anything else is said. Girls, we are some of the meanest people, especially towards each other. I know a lot of us, including me, are thinking, “But no, I am so sweet.” Yes, you may be a generally kind person but in girls as a whole, mean has become the movement.

Thinking about all this, I think it is so odd. Girls experience many of the same issues. We all have had terrible hair days, bled out on cute panties, gained extra weight, gotten our heart broken by a crush or significant other, and cried over the stupidest, tiniest things. So why is it we find it necessary to tear each other down? Honestly, if you even have the time to sit and ridicule another girl based on her looks, her boyfriend, her outfit, or her association with certain organizations, you obviously do not see there are more important things in life.

I’ll admit, I have seen girls wearing certain outfits that may be too bold, too skimpy, or too whatever and immediately judged them. Who am I too judge? Girl, if you are feeling yourself in that crop top, wear it! Girl, if you feel super awesome wearing those cat ears for fun, do it! I am SO about girls building each other up. We are all in this together. And chances are if a girl is wearing something daring, she needs a little extra confidence. Don’t we all?

Let me give more of a visualization to make sense of things. Flashback to the drunk girl crying in the bathroom whether they were crying about a broken heel, a broken heart, or a broken ego. Now think about how more random drunk girls came into the picture by complimenting her and telling her how beautiful and strong she is. Why can’t we be like that all the time? Not drunk, but nice. You don’t have to go up to every girl and curse every boy who did her wrong, but you can tell her how nice her hair looks. Trust me, a little compliment can go a long way.

With all of the things in the world going against women, we don’t need to be tearing each other down. We have boys treating us like crap, corporations telling us women can’t do the job, men catcalling us from the street, hormones screwing up the best of days, cramps making us feel sick, and meninists trying to tell us that equal rights is ridiculous. None of the issues are going to get any better if we separate ourselves. We aren’t going to be invincible if we keep clawing at each other.

Having said all this, I am not claiming I am one to never judge or think badly of another female. Changing mental processes and thoughts is something we can all work on. I once read on Tumblr when we judge someone, our first thought is what society taught us and the second is what our character is teaching us. I have looked at a girl and thought, “Honey, you do NOT need to be wearing that tight dress.” But after a second I try to tell myself, “Actually, if you think you look hot as hell, that’s what matters.”

In all this, there is a tricky part. What do we do if a girl asks our opinion? I believe we should approach it honestly but constructively. If you think a shirt doesn’t look great when your friend asks, tell her that you don’t think the certain shirt is flattering but you know a shirt that would look stunning on her! But if a girl doesn’t ask your opinion, don’t be a bitch and tell her how awful you think she looks.

I think we can do it. I think we can all unite as diverse, powerful women who build each other up. We can be honest yet constructive, fierce yet encouraging, opinionated yet mature, and different yet loving. Let’s stop being mean from becoming the new movement.