2016, a year that should be full of hope, progress and innovation, has become a year of political catastrophe that has made us question what the American political system is really about. In this circus of the 2016 general election, it has become harder and harder to believe some of the words that have come out of the mouths of the candidates that could be our possible future president. Honestly, some of these candidates make me feel like Cady Heron in a country run by a bunch of Regina Georges. It leaves us all feeling like this girl:
She doesn't even go here.
So here's how our presidential candidates relate to characters from "Mean Girls."
1. Bernie Sanders- Janis Ian
Like Janis Ian, Bernie Sanders likes to tell it exactly like it is. He's so over the mainstream politicians who only speak on behalf of themselves for selfish political gain. The Bernster is changing the game. He refuses to fall into any of the "cliques" in Washington, which sets him apart from the other candidates. His fury against Wall Street and big money in politics makes him the only candidate to piss off everyone with money. Bernie would say, "They're life ruiners, they ruin people's lives," which would get a resounding round of applause from Janis. The most notable characteristic that tie Janis Ian and Bernie is their deliberate disregard for the status quo. Fitting in with the "in crowd" is completely irrelevant to these two rebels. They aren't afraid to make sure everybody knows exactly how they feel about them, which can also be a bad thing.
On behalf of Bernie, ditto Janis, ditto.
2. Donald Trump- Regina George
Here we go, the Queen Bee, king of them all. Regina and the Trumpster have more in common than just their fabulous blonde locks. They also both have boundless superiority complexes and egos. The best part is that their heads are so big that they don't even realize it. Both of these queens tend to be close minded and only let certain people into their cliques. Donald's clique being America. Above all, these two have powers unlike all others to brainwash everyone else into believing everything that they say. Not only do their supporters believe them, but they absolutely adore them and desire to do exactly as they do. Basically, Trump supporters are the Plastics of America.
We have no clue why everyone is so obsessed with you two, no idea.
3. Ted Cruz- Gretchen Weiners
Poor Ted and Gretchen, always having to live in the shadows of their "Queen Bee." Both of them spend all of their time trying to level up to Trump and Regina, with no success. It must be hard to be exactly like their more important counterpart and get none of the recognition. Maybe if Gretchen would stop trying to make "fetch" happen and Cruz would stop trying to force Evangelical, ultra-conservative viewpoints onto everyone, they would be more popular. It must be hard to be the Brutus in a school (or country) who favors Caesar.
Sorry Gretchen, "fetch" is never going to happen. Sorry Teddy, your views are never going to be popular enough to win the nomination.
4. Hillary Clinton- Cady Heron
Cady and Hill-dog face the chronic issue of resisting temptation. Cady starts on Janis' side and only desires to take down the Plastics. Temptation then takes over and she becomes one of them. Likewise, Hillary began as an ultra-liberal whose main goal was to benefit the party. Now, her main goal is just to win the presidency, and has become just like her opposition in order to enhance her own campaign, with total disregard for the Democratic party. The most notable issue is that neither of them see it as an issue. Their biggest downfall is the inability to stray from the status quo. Cady gets trapped by popularity and Hillary gets trapped by big money (Wall Street), even though it goes against everything they believe in.
Come on Cady and Hill, you're better than this.
5. American People- Ms. Norbury
Generally speaking, I think it's safe to say that we all feel like Ms. Norbury. She has little control over what her students do and we have little control over what our candidates do. But we all feel like it's our responsibility to fix it. Most of us have no idea which candidate is best to choose. It's like picking between going to Aaron Samuel's Halloween party dressed as a bunny or as a Zombie Bride. There is no good choice. And it's not like we can gather all of the candidates together and make them talk it out reasonably like Ms. Norbury does. I think we all feel personally victimized by our presidential candidates.
We feel you Ms. Norbury. We all feel sufficiently awkward about this election.
I mean, it's not like winning Spring Fling Queen and giving a piece of the crown to everyone.
Only one candidate can actually win the presidency.
But don't take this as a discouragement. It is still so important that everyone votes. It is vital to be involved in the political process. Be informed, be involved. Don't let the Regina George of America win.




























