Even as a 19-year-old girl, I am seeing "mommy shaming" all around me. I am a college student, planning on going to law school and whenever I tell people my goals they often say something along the lines of: "How will you make time for kids with such a demanding career?" or "You'll probably quit to have kids eventually." It infuriates me.
However, I usually respond with "I'll figure it out," then I give them a big smile and end the conversation. I am only 19-years-old. There is no reason for me to be worrying about my nonexistent children at this point.
On the other hand, mommy shaming does go both ways. Women are shamed for having full-time careers, but they are also shamed for being full-time mothers. "A woman with no children is not doing her motherly duty." "A woman who does not have a career and just raises children is not a feminist." I hear these things all the time and it's sickening.
Apparently, there is no way to be a woman correctly, especially when it comes to motherhood. And, frankly, I don't think that is the case.
A woman should be able to do whatever she wants. If she just wants to raise her children, she should. If she doesn't want any children, she doesn't need to have them. It isn't anyone else's business whether or not a woman has kids, a career, or both.
As for my mother, she has five children and has worked full time since before any of us were even born and did not quit afterward. She has managed to be a full-time mother with a full-time career, and yet, she still often feels like she isn't doing the right thing like she isn't spending enough time with her kids.
I think what she is doing is amazing and inspiring. She wanted a career and kids so she had both and made it work. She made her life the way she wanted it to be and in a world where it is "impossible" to balance kids and a career, that's a big deal.
As for me, after seeing how hard she works at her job and at being a mother, I have never thought I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do. I have never felt like I should have to choose between being a mom someday and having a career.
That is why I really want to see an end to "mommy shaming" for all women. I should never be told not to have the career I want because I won't be able to complete my "motherly duties." My best friend should not be told, "You'll change your mind when you get older," when she tells someone she doesn't want kids. My mom shouldn't feel like she isn't a good enough mom because she also loves to work.
Motherhood is a choice that women have the right to make. These women shouldn't feel bad, no matter what decision they make, because it isn't anyone else's dang business.
