Going through pregnancy is hard and sometimes —without knowing it — people make it even harder. They always have the best intentions in mind, especially women who've already had a child. But I'm here to tell you exactly what we wish you knew, but don't necessarily love telling you.
1. It's rude to approach a pregnant woman with a comment like “oh my god, you’ve gotten huge!!”
We know. We feel it every single day. We see it every single day. And it doesn't make us feel good to hear you say it. It doesn't matter if you're just talking about the belly because chances are, that's not all that's grown, and that's not all you meant/were thinking.
2. The “OMG you’re still so tiny the baby must be so small! They must not be growing much! That doesn’t seem healthy.”
My baby is growing just fine. Everyone carries differently and every pregnancy is different, even with the same woman. Stop worrying me about what I don't need to be worried about. I have a doctor, they'll tell me if something is wrong.
3. Stop touching my stomach without asking.
Why? Because it's fucking weird. People don't just come tummy touching on you, do they? And respect my wishes if I still say no. No, it doesn't matter if you're family and it doesn't if you've been my friend for 10+ years, you have to ASK. You're not an exception.
4. If I don't know you...then REALLY don't touch it.
Shockingly, this happens ALL the time.
5. Stop asking me to show you my belly when you see me out in public.
How about you show me your summer bod right now in front of all these people?? Didn't think so. It's uncomfortable.
6. I know I’m going to have to take out my piercings eventually, there's no need to remind me.
Again, I DO talk to my doctor.
7. Stop telling me all about the things you see wrong with my baby registry, what you think I should/shouldn’t do with it instead, what you think of the items I picked, etc.
My baby registry is just that — MINE. You should assume most parents want what's best for their child. I can assure you, we spent hours looking up just that, researching, reading, looking at reviews, etc. We know the ins and outs of everything we put on there and we still chose it! It's just a guide though, so if you don't agree with something on it, simply don't buy it!
8. If a woman plans on breastfeeding, stop telling her all of your negative stories about how it didn’t work out for you, your sister, your wife, your aunt, your BFF, etc. Keep your advice to yourself unless you're asked for it.
Breastfeeding is fucking hard. We want to go into it with a POSITIVE mindset and you're not helping!! We know the warning labels already. We still want to TRY, so let us. Most women have what's called a lactation consultant, given to them by their doctor or the hospital or of their own choosing, whose JOB is to help them do it.
9. If she plans on formula feeding, shut the f*ck up.
What I mean by this I mean the DREADED "well, breastfed babies are smarter, it's better for them, the formula is so expensive, you sure you want to do that?" comments. It's not your damn nipple and it's not coming out of or your bank account, so don't worry about it.
10. Most importantly, if advice is not asked for, it's probably not welcome. Not even from you, mom.
We know you're just trying to help, but it's OVERWHELMING hearing it from literally everyone, every time you share something with them, every time you come around, and every time they think of something to tell you. It's quite frankly really annoying. Nobody wants to be told HOW to parent, what to buy, what to do, or how to do it.
It's like the annoying mother nagging in your ear every time she comes to visit your home — don't be that mom. We don't even want it from our own moms! It's too much. We will ask for advice, opinions, or help when we need it. This one is my favorite because nobody likes it, but everyone still does it.
There are probably 100 more things that we could come up with together, but these are just my personal pet peeves and tips. Take note!
