If you couldn’t tell by the nonstop news coverage, we are less than a year away from the presidential election. While we watch week to week as Donald Trump says one obnoxious comment after another, or Hillary Clinton mentions that she is a woman anxiously waiting to protect other women, I can't help but wonder if these candidates truly understand what college kids really want. That made me ponder the idea of a college student running for president and whether I would be able to do it myself. Then I remembered that America is the land of possibility. So I am running for president and this is my platform.
Puppies on Campus
Research shows that playing with puppies can relieve stress and anxiety, which results in higher productivity and overall satisfaction. Some campuses take advantage of this and bring puppies in during finals week, but do we limit this to a few days a semester? It’s not because students love puppies and want to play with them as a distraction, rather we want to be productive. We are willing to give up time in our day to play with dogs and puppies if it means getting a better grade. A sacrifice I know I am willing to make. So bring on the puppies.
Free Rent
There are a couple candidates who have mentioned making tuition cheaper, and as awesome as that is, let’s be real. We want a free place to live, because we may spend tens of thousands of dollars on school itself, but we also have to spend thousands of dollars to live in an old house or apartment. These glamorous college housing options are super quaint with cozy and musty rooms that make you feel like Harry Potter trapped under the stairs. Not to mention the responsibility of cooking and cleaning the entire place, which makes you extremely nostalgic for dorm life.
Free Tuition
This is one item that candidates have touched on and no college student would object. Whether you go to a major state university or a small private college, some tuition can leave a student in crippling debt for years. If you get rid of all the other logistics, free tuition is enough to make any college student jump for joy in true “High School Musical” fashion.
Three-Day Weekend, Every Weekend
I don’t think that this one needs a long description. All students deserve an extra day to do “homework,” sleep in, or at least have a day to recover and mentally prepare for the week.
The Elimination of Cumulative Finals
To be fair, I understand that cumulative tests are used to make you retain knowledge, but packing an entire semester of readings and homework into one test, that determines a major part of your grade, just seems ruthless. The idea that the information taught the first week should be as easily accessed as the information taught yesterday, is a little nerve racking for any college student. Not to mention the panic attack we have for the week leading up to the undesirable test day. This is followed by a tearful call to our mothers that we are positive we didn’t pass, and will fail out of school, so she needs to get the bed in the basement ready. No student should have to succumb to this type of pressure.
Stop Premature Christmas Decorating
I understand this is a little bit of a stretch, but hear me out. Christmas decorations mean one thing, it’s Christmas time and Christmas time means Christmas Break which means every college student gets to go home for a glorious month. This month is filled with their parents doing their laundry, making them food, and not having any homework to stress over. So the Christmas decorations in October remind me instead that I still have half of a semester to rip my hair out before sweet momentary freedom. This premature Christmas decorating gives me false hope and needs to stop.
I think it’s safe to say that I may be under-qualified to actually run for president (considering I’m only 21) but I do think I have some valid points. So these may just be a distant dream, but I am still hoping for those puppies!
