Just this past Monday, I opened up my twitter app to find my feed consumed with the hashtag “#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou” and seeing all my friends, the accounts I follow and what they were saying made my heart drop to my stomach.
It all started with a girl with the twitter handle, @bad_dominicana when she used the hashtag after tweeting many of her feelings. After the second one, it spread like wildfire.
After that, hundreds of thousands of people began tweeting with that hashtag. And the most saddening part of the ordeal, it’s not to get attention, it’s because it is real life and it has happened to that person or is happening right now. Dating violence is real. Just check out what these people had to say on Twitter.
and even my own tweet:
The past relationship I was just in that lasted for over a year taught me a great deal about life, love, myself and, most importantly, what is right and wrong. Even though I was never physically hurt, I was hurt mentally and emotionally too many times. No, I’m not playing the victim card or trying to make him look like the bad guy.
Love can be deceiving and make people do very crazy things, but that is never an excuse to say hurtful things to a loved one just to get what you want.
Nearly 80 percent of young women who have been physically or emotionally abused in their relationship do not leave. The humiliation for these women is always the same response, “Why are they staying with this guy?” Most people insist that if they were treated that way, they would immediately leave, but it’s not that easy. I always swore up and down that I would destroy anyone or anything who tried to break me or get in the way of my life. I learned everything is easier said than done because just weeks after splitting up, and I had come to the terms that I was a victim of dating violence.
Never did I think it would happen to me and I even told myself that. Never would it happen to me. My parents raised me to be a strong stand-up-for-yourself type of girl, so how did I become this?
Social media has a big key factor in relationships that suffer from any dating violence because all people see is the cute couple with the clever caption that everyone is envying, but no one knows what is happening behind closed doors or via text message.
So, why is this an such an issue? I think it stems from this societal idea that teenagers in love have to be crazy and passionate. Kids have all these hormones and new emotions, so it’s normal for them to overreact, but where do you draw the line?
Just because dating violence isn’t happening to you, doesn’t mean it is not happening at all. Any form of dating violence is real and it’s all around us. It’s with the boy whose girlfriend puts a tracking device on his phone. It’s with the girl whose girlfriend tells her she’s worthless. It’s the girl with a sweatshirt on in the summer because she has bruises around her wrists. No more “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” “I didn’t mean it,” “I’ll change.” Know the problem, know the signs and know there is better out there. No one is perfect but everyone deserves to be treated like someone’s cup of tea.
Understand the gray area between love and control before a bad relationship escalates or you become unhappy. If you or someone you know is a victim of dating violence, do not hesitate to reach out for help.
