I've done this with basically everything else, so why not do the NBA too? The season is currently happening and since I don't pay attention to the games anyway, I might as well decide who's the best by whose mascot would succeed in a fight. I'm judging it based on their namesake mascot and not whatever they have running around the court, because some of them are contrasting and that annoys me. Sit back, find your favorite team, and enjoy the show.
30. Golden State Warriors
Mascot: Warriors (no official costumed mascot)
My Ranking: 30- They might not currently have a costumed mascot, but they use to, and it was offensive, so although I'm glad they decided to ditch that decades ago, they still use the same name, so I don't know quite how I feel about that.
29. Utah Jazz
Mascot: Jazz/ Jazz Bear
My Ranking: 29- This might be the least scary genre of music I've ever heard.
28. Denver Nuggets
Mascot: Nuggets/ Rocky the Mountain Lion
My Ranking: 28- Dang, now I'm thinking about McNuggets.
27. Brooklyn Nets
Mascot: Nets (no official costumed mascot)
My Ranking: 27- Who was the wise guy who decided to name the team after the equipment used in the game- just seems a little lazy.
26. Detroit Pistons
Mascot: Pistons/ Hooper
My Ranking: 26- I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't for a piston to be something in a car. *yawn*
25. New York Knicks
Mascot: Knicks (no official costumed mascot)
My Ranking: 25- Naming yourself after a pair of pants is a bold move, I'll give them that.
24. Los Angeles Lakers
Mascot: Lakers (no official costumed mascot)
My Ranking: 24- What exactly is a laker? One who likes lakes?
23. Philadelphia 76ers
Mascot: 76ers/ Franklin the Dog
My Ranking: 23- Woohoo, our burgeoning independence! In the grand scheme of things, not the most exciting option and definitely not scary either. Maybe to King George III though (too soon?).
22. LA Clippers
Mascot: Clippers/ Chuck
My Ranking: 22- It's technically a type of sailboat, but if it was actually just a giant pair of scissors, I'm thinking top 3 for sure.
21. Indiana Pacers
Mascot: Pacers/ Boomer
My Ranking: 21- It has something to do with racing, but all I can think about is *ahem* The FitnessGram (TM) Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test tha-.
20. Boston Celtics
Mascot: Celtics/ Lucky the Leprechaun (couldn't find a good picture)
My Ranking: 20- If only they had a little more luck, they might be ranked better on this list.
19. Cleveland Cavaliers
Mascot: Cavaliers/ Moondog (& Sir CC)
My Ranking: 19- They're only this high, because they have swords. Good for them.
18. San Antonio Spurs
Mascot: Spurs/ The Coyote
My Ranking: 18- A boot spur looks super pointy, so honestly, I wouldn't want one of those bad boys thrown at me.
17. Miami Heat
Mascot: Heat/ Burnie
My Ranking: 17- I know what you're thinking- how is heat that intimidating? Listen, most of these mascots are no match for heatstroke, and I will not be explaining any further.
16. Portland Trail Blazers
Mascot: Trail Blazers/ Blaze the Trail Cat (couldn't find a good picture)
My Ranking: 16- After 2 seconds of research, I found out that the team is named after the Lewis & Clark expedition. I didn't ask for a history lesson here, you guys.
15. New Orleans Pelicans
Mascot: Pelicans/ Pierre the Pelican
My Ranking: 15- I like this mascot a lot; I just don't think it would win against some of these other ones.
14. Oklahoma City Thunder
Mascot: Thunder/ Rumble the Bison
My Ranking: 14- If you think about it, thunder is just a loud noise.
13. Sacramento Kings
Mascot: Kings/ Slamson the Lion
My Ranking: 13- The king himself might not be great in a tussle, but he'd sure be able to find and pay someone to whoop some booty.
12. Dallas Mavericks
Mascot: Mavericks/ Champ (couldn't find a good picture)
My Ranking: 12- Whoever named this team was a horse girl. I rest my case.
11. Atlanta Hawks
Mascot: Hawks/ Harry the Hawk
My Ranking: 11- This one's kind of meh.
10. Toronto Raptors
Mascot: Raptors/ The Raptor
My Ranking: 10- I mean, dinosaurs are extinct, so what really can they do?
9. Houston Rockets
Mascot: Rockets/ Clutch the Rocket Bear
My Ranking: 9- Rocket could just fly away from anything trying to fight, so... full-proof escape plan.
8. Charlotte Hornets
Mascot: Hornets/ Hugo the Hornet (couldn't find a good picture)
My Ranking: 8- They might be small, but I think we all know that no one enjoys getting stung.
7. Milwaukee Bucks
Mascot: Bucks/ Bango
My Ranking: 7- The bigger the horns, the closer to God. Just kidding, they can just use them to go stabby-stab.
6. Chicago Bulls
Mascot: Bulls/ Benny the Bull
My Ranking: 6- Wait for it... Chicago Bowls. I just made it better.
5. Minnesota Timberwolves
Mascot: Timberwolves/ Crunch the Wolf
My Ranking: 5- I rode on a rollercoaster called the Timberwolf that broke down one time. I know this has nothing to do with that, but I'm still a little salty.
4. Memphis Grizzlies
Mascot: Grizzlies/ Grizz
My Ranking: 4- It looks more like a hairy pig, but I digress.
3. Phoenix Suns
Mascot: Suns/ The Gorilla (couldn't find a good picture)
My Ranking: 3- Not much really beats the sun and yet...
2. Orlando Magic
Mascot: Magic/ Stuff the Magic Dragon
My Ranking: 2- Magic is magic, like c'mon.
1. Washington Wizards
Mascot: Wizards/ G-Wiz
My Ranking: 1- You're the toughest mascot, Harry (Although the hat almost had me fooled).