I, like most other 20 somethings, had (TBH still have) an unhealthy obsession with Mary Kate and Ashley growing up. Like I was apart of their fan club, bought every movie ever made the day it came out, and one year asked Santa to get me a Mary Kate and Ashley movie also starring me for Christmas.
I would like to consider myself a Mary-Kate and Ashley expert. I still love the shit out of these classic films. So, I find it my duty to rank the Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. DISCLAIMER this does not include the equally compelling and fantastic detective or party movies, but we'd be here all night if I added those (but like can we talk about the incredible songs in all of those films. UGG amazing. Don't even get me started...)
14. Double, Double, Toil and Trouble
Ok so like yo this one gets an automatic last place because I've literally only seen it once. Wanna know why?? Because it is literally petrifying AF. Honestly, it's got some great qualities to move it up higher on the list, but when I think of MK and Ash I want to think of joy and unrealistic situations due to their parents in every movie having millions of dollars (like honestly WTF???) and not of TERROR. Moving on.
PS this movie also gets a few bonus points for having a Shakespearean title. Way to go Olsens.
13. When in Rome
You probably forgot about this one right? Yeah me too. I remember when I first bought this lovely VHS. And after I rushed home to watch it, I was disappointed. Gonna be totally honest here and say I don't remember much about it and I tried to watch it again for the purposes of this article and literally couldn't find it located anywhere. It's just forgettable. They get bonus points for having bomb ass names (Charli and Leila) in this movie, but minus thousands of points for going all the way to Rome for the summer and having MK's character fall in love with an AMERICAN BOY. I'm done. Also, why in the world would an international fashion company hire high schoolers to work for them?? Whatever. Goodbye.
12. How the West Was Fun
This movie is actually v good and has a great plot line and teaches lessons and all that good stuff. The reason why I put it so low though is because it doesn't have that feel good Olsen twins vibe. Like, obvi the Western look is cute but I just want to see some trashy and basic Cali girl MK and Ash struttin their stuff and flaunting their 'rents money. This movie is actually kind of depressing. Bonus points for taking down the villain in this movie though, Bart is a creepy name anyway.
11. New York Minute
Alright, so EVERYONE was rooting for this movie to be stellar. It was the last movie the twins ever made together and with their own production company Dualstar (which I JUST recently realized the meaning behind it. Dual Star. Get it? Cause they're twins??) AND it premiered in theatres. But in reality, this movie actually kind of sucks. A lot. It's higher than the others because of the Simple Plan concert featured (like come on that was awesome), the cute make up sesh between the twins at the end, and Eugene Levy of course. Also just all the hype that surrounded this movie is what gives this film its bonus points. However, I will say this movie takes the cake for being one of the most unrealistic and most predictable. I mean the bad girl twin's name is Roxy and the goody two shoes is named Jane. COME ON!
10. Getting There
This movie has a lot of issues behind it. For starters, their parents buy them a fancy ass corvette for their 16th birthday and then lets them take their friends in this car on a road trip to Salt Lake City for the Olympics. THAT IS LIKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS PLUS PUTTING WAY TOO MUCH TRUST IN LITERAL 16 YEAR OLDS. Also, not to mention the fact the parents are just like super chill about their car getting stolen, getting on the wrong plane, then bus, etc. I would like STILL be suffering punishments if that happened to me. But this is MK and Ash world, so you have to distort your reality a little.
The reason this movie is in the top 10 though is because it honestly leaves you hooked. Will they make it to Utah??!!! Will they meet boyfriends?!! Super bonus points for actually making the friends in this movie relevant. EVEN MORE bonus points for the killer soundtrack!!! I mean that rock version of What a Wonderful World while Ash's character Taylor skis down a mountain with ALEX RICHER star Olympian!! I C O N I C. I was like "sign me up for ski school" after watching that.
9. Switching Goals
This movie is vastly underrated. It's honestly one of the twins' best. The things that make it so great:
1. It's actually relatable. They aren't overly rich. They play soccer. They are awkward on dates. Their parents force them to do things. They wash dishes. So, like all of us.
2. THEY FINALLY USE THEIR TWINNESS. If you aren't a twin you KNOW you've always dreamed of switching places with your twin. And it's super cliche, but all Olsen twin fans have been waiting for this moment!!! TG DUALSTAR.
3. The twins actually have different interests and are each individually successful and passionate about their interests. This is rare occurrence in the franchise.
All the bonus points for normalcy!!!!
8. Holiday in the Sun
Ok so I had to think long and hard about where to place this one. Because let's face it, this movie is pretty darn stupid. Like not gonna lie, one of the most pointless of their franchise. It's really awful, but there is something about it I just love. Probably because it is FUH-REAKING-LARIOUS. Like I usually end in tears laughing at how dumb this movie is. Like I would choose it above all of the ones before it because of how much of an ab workout I get from laughing at that triviality of this film. Let's talk about some great aspects of this beauty of a film.
For starters, the movie literally begins with a scene where MK and Ash (Madison and Alex) are pulled out of class to find their parents outside of a private jet with 2 DOZEN KRISPY KREME DONUTS. And are just like "Yo, you need a vacay because being filthy rich is hard. Let's fly to the Bahamas and stay in Atlantis". MAJOR BONUS POINTS to Atlantis though for that product placement. I was begging to go for YEARS after this movie came out.
Now, let's talk about the plot. Basically, the girls explore paradise and there are many montages of them going down water slides, swimming, making out with boys, shopping, etc. Oh yeah let's not forget about the part where they literally get arrested in The Bahamas after sneaking out and hiding from their parents. Cue the parents not giving two shits. Let us also remember Megan Fox's cameo. Where the real magic really seeps into the plot is all the outfit changes. I think this movie features more outfit changes than any other. One time my friend and I counted, and there were over 40 different changes of clothes. That takes a lot of stamina. Props to you ladies.
I will say the greatest single feature of this classic film though is the Play concert mid movie. Play is one of the greatest bands of all time obvi. And Us Against the World was snubbed by the Grammys. Bonus points to the Holiday in the Sun DVD that features THE MUSIC VIDEO for this near perfection song. Ugg. Too good.
7. Passport to Paris
This movie is just so fantastic in so many ways. It was the first of the films where they go abroad, and they were really just your average 13 year olds. They jump up and down and scream when they find out they're going to Paris and then scream a little when they realize they'll have to miss the Spring Fling. When you're 13 you just don't always have your priorities straight. Mel (MK) and Ally (Ash) are no exception.
Major props to the fact that they go to Paris to visit family and they sever their ties at the end!! I honestly don't know what else to say except this is an exceptional feel good film and they meet really cute boys and have their first kiss and learn about fashion and actually have rules (unlike ANY of their other films) are just normal gals living the dream. The only reason it's not ranked higher is just because I felt sad for the twins because I remember them saying in an interview their literal first kiss was on screen and they can never get that back. Tragic. But still just all the bonus points for perfection in Paris.
6. The Challenge
I know a lot of you will argue with me on this one. I feel you. This movie is truly great though and you can't deny it. The film includes every kind of aspect a human craves when they turn on a television!!! Drama (twins that hate each other forced on a team together). Reality TV (a show within a movie). Romance (honestly some of the twins' best picks were in this film). The underdog coming in clutch!! And, of course, a touch of nostalgia. This was the second to last film the twins did together and the last straight to video one as well. Ok sure it's a little predictable, but in the best way possible. I also love at the end where all the boyfriends come back and it's just fantastic and so very Olsen twins. Bonus points for the montage of the sisters walking down the beach arms around each other while "I've Got You Babe" plays. So many tears. So many bonus points.
5. To Grandmother's House We Go
So we made it to the top 5. And let me tell y'all this one makes it in because it is actually one of the greatest pieces of cinema of all time!!! It was also the premiere MarAshKateLy and sets the bar so freaking high saying "Goodbye Michelle Tanner, Hello Olsen twins. We are a force."
This movie is also just a lot and it keeps you on the edge of your seat!!! These badass little babies run away from home because they think they are making their mommy sad and end up being kidnapped along the way but yet STILL make it to grandmother's!!! What is not to love about this film?? Also, you so feel for that poor Mom. You are crying with her. I just have so much I could say about the quality of this movie. Bonus points for parental love and amazingly wise four year olds!!!
4. Billboard Dad
So this one is highly underrated as well. You probably forgot about this one. Well don't because it's fantastic. Sure, a little unrealistic. First off, why did these girls not get in trouble for painting on a billboard they didn't pay for??!!! Also, how were they able to paint that well in the middle of the night PLUS somehow get a perfect picture of their dad on this billboard???!!! We can overlook both of these aspects because of just how great this film is. These girls love their dad so much that they want him to be so happy that they will even try to get him to date even though their mom died!!! So touching. Also just like majorly obsessed with the fact that they are on a diving team!! I had never even heard of diving before this film. But after, boy was I encourage to actually learn how to do something besides belly flopping in the pool. And honestly the greatest moment in this film is when Ryan (the dad's girlfriend's son) yells "BONSIEEEAYYIIIEEEIII" (or whatever the hell) when jumping off the diving board.
Again, another great example of love for your fam prevailing over all. And they are a super cool family. And this is a super cool film. I just really love it. And bonus points bc they have a clap on, clap off light in their bedroom and they also had tye dye bedspreads, so #roomgoals.
3. It Takes Two
Let's talk about this movie. Wow. Amazing. Steve Guttenburg. Kirstie Alley. The twins not actually being twins. Bringing a couple together. Horses, orphans, pianos, a camp, a food fight!! This movie will never not be good. Don't know how girls that aren't actually twins look like twins but we all go for it. Honestly, some of the best acting from the twins as well. Like pretending to be an orphan in an actually tragic situation and for the first time ever pretending not to be sisters while on screen together!! Who would have thought? And you just melt over the love story between Stevie Steve and Miss Jenny Craig herself, Kirstie Kirst. This was like the '90s dream situation and the horse and buggy ride in the end!!! Just stop what you are doing rn and watch this movie. Bonus points for never getting old and being amazing. Goodbye.
2. Our Lips Are Sealed
Everything about this movie is mere perfection. The location. The boyfriends. The plot line. The humor. The awkward. I even learned a thing or two about Australian culture and of course about the Witness Protection Program. I didn't even know what that was before this classic hit!! The parents are also first rate in this movie. So hliarious. I love the journey the girls go on this movie too. So much personal growth!! I'm all about that. Also, the way they escape the bad guys in this one? Too excellent. The soundtrack is also first class. Never forget 99 Red Balloons playing while the girls ride with their hot Aussie boyfriends on a roller coaster in a closed down amusement park. My six year old self gained my love for theme parks while watching this movie. The parties in this movie are also just so great. Many, many bonus points for including just everything you would ever want in a Mary-Kate and Ash film and then some. Way. To. Go.
1. Winning London
Here we are folks, we made it. The number one greatest Mary-Kate and Ashley film of all time. I genuinely love this movie oh so very much. First of all, they go to London, one of the greatest cities in the world. Not to mention they go for a very educational reason: Model UN!! Like hello! I remember being in middle school and actually knowing what Model UN was and people were v impressed and I was just like "thanks Dualstar". I also love the sister dynamic in this movie. Riley (Ash) just comes along for the ride but ends up being superior and Chloe (MK) is so proud because she learned about how to let go of that competitive edge.
Can we please talk about their hot boyfriends in this movie?! Chloe gets James, the British hottie with the body who plays polo and is smart and was probably partially responsible for my awakening into womanhood. And also there's Brian!! Mom's best friend's son!! Riley and Brian are the cutest and like maybe Riley originally came to hang with him they end up falling for each other in the best way possible. Also, the friends that are also on the team fall in love and it's perfect!! There's also so many great examples of teamwork, history lessons, and of course great site seeing because, again, did I mention this all happens in L O N D O N.
What a beautifully fantastic film. Bonus points for being number one.
Thank you Mary-Kate and Ashley for adding so much to my childhood and being such a large part of my life. Keep on keepin on.