Why You Should Marry The Marching Band Kid

Why You Should Marry The Marching Band Kid

Marching band and relationships have more in common than you may think.
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There are few groups of people in this world who I personally believe are always "good." And marching band kids are one of them.

Marching band kids are really good at taking direction.

It is our job to make sure we are in charge of our spot on the field. If we mess up, there is the potential for injury. Not only that, but when you get into a band that has over four-hundred people in it there is no way the director is going to be able to put each and every person in their spot for every set.

When we're married, it's going to help because we're not going to have to be told to take the trash out or put some clothes through the wash. We're going to see that it needs to be done and then we'll do it.

We're not the type to give up.

If you've ever been outside in 100+ degree heat and been able to march/walk/run several miles, then you know what it means to really push through. We marching in severe heat, snow, rain, and everything in-between. There's not much that we won't do to figure out how to get something done, and get it right. "Practice makes perfect" is not our mantra, "perfect practice makes perfect" is how we roll.

Mark time calves.

Depending on how your school does mark time, your significant other is going to have the best calves you've ever seen. There's no way around it! To keep your upper body still there are a lot of legs involved. Especially when we rep something over and over again.

We are severely punctual.

Here is my thought process as a college marching kid:

"Ok, call time is five hours before kickoff, so that means I need to be on the field at 8am with the clarinets. That means I need to park my car at least fifteen to twenty minutes beforehand. To be there that early I need to pick up my carpool about twenty minutes before that, so I need to wake up around 6:50am to be able to eat some breakfast and drink water before it gets hot out and I dehydrate myself. So the 8:30a. band call means waking up just over an hour early."

After talking to many fellow marching friends, I am certain that at least 90% of the band has this same thought process. "Be early to the call, which means be earlier than that."

You're going to have the best wedding ever.

I've heard many stories from friends, family, and family friends that they managed to get friends to come play live songs for them. If they met in college, sometimes they even get a pep band to come and play some school songs. It's just as nerdy as it sounds, but you get to have college kid fun again for a short while. Who wouldn't want to relieve some of the best times of their life for a few minutes!

Your children will probably play instruments.

I say "probably," but if you met in band, then chances are that you will start your kid on lessons in early elementary school, get them to start a second (maybe even third) instrument by high school, and then they can woo anyone they want. Ok, I'm kidding, but really there have been several studies done about how learning to play or sing or even listening to music makes you smarter.

We make time, even when we're busy.

A typical week in my life that ends in a game day involves three two-hour rehearsals, a one hour sectional, and then game day can be anywhere from ten to fourteen hours. And that's just a one credit class. There are friends of mine in this band who are aspiring engineers, architects, music performance majors, and pre-vet. Work loads can get up to 18 or more credit hours during the marching season. I don't even know when these people sleep, but they are the most hard-working and well organize people I know. These are the people that are going to have color-coded calendars for all three of their children and every car ride and carpool is going to have snacks. That's the person I want to be with. Heck, that's the person I want to be!

We look dang good in a uniform.

We know how dorky we look, but even the crowd can admit that when you see a band of four-hundred people all wearing the same thing, it's pretty awesome. Maybe even scary depending on the amount of screaming going on.

We understand what real commitment is.

Band kids are not the type to throw in the towel. A lot of us don't even know what the phrase means. Starting a relationship is like starting a new half-time show for us. We are given very little and have to be able to see the big picture. There may be small amounts of kicking and screaming when it gets hard, but we don't tear up our drill charts, throw them in the air, and walk off the field leaving our instruments behind. We take a breather, maybe do some stretches, and come back with a cool head and a mindset to make it better.

We know how to communicate.

If we didn't communicate with each other in band, we wouldn't be a band. It's all about the ensemble and having everything mesh together, meld as one, and be one sound. Translating that to a relationship, that means that we're not going leave you out of the loop. If you don't know something, it will probably make us uncomfortable.

Hard work through it all.

I hope this one is self explanatory. We rehearse in 100 degree heat, snow, rain, and perform in anything that comes our way. A little fight isn't going to discourage us, and neither is someone leaving some dishes out every once in a while. We understand that there may be tiny things that someone does wrong. Things like being too far to the left, or missing a step off, or even being a little late, but that one action isn't a reflection of all the love and care put into the band. Wait, this is about relationships. Little actions are not going to change our whole opinion of you. Someone has to royally screw up for a band kid to change their opinion about you. And if we married you, chances are you're in the clear.

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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views

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I Have A Monster

But one day she'll love herself...

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They always say love all the parts of yourself. They always say you have to accept your imperfections and flaws. They say, "How can you expect anyone to love you if you don't even love yourself?"

But what if you want to love all of yourself? What if you are there, loving, but all your flaws and imperfections aren't letting you love them? What if they all gang up on you and say they want to stay imperfect? They annoy you and tell you that yes, you are imperfect. And you are unlovable. And you always will be.

What do you do then?


This Monster

The monster is sleeping.

She always leaves me alone in the afternoon.

When I have stuff to do.

Music to croon me and swoon me

Into a trance that everything's good.

So good.


This monster is scary.

She knows me too well even now.

When I seem to keep losing myself.

Slipping through the cracks of my core

My heart is getting so sore

From carrying everything

Being my backbone

In times when I don't think

I'm coming back.


My heart even knowing this monster,

Has given up hard in these attacks.


Yet this monster was weeping…

Late, late last night.

She holds my doubts and my fears

Brings news to my ears

That I am never enough

For the moment

That you want.


I am not what you want.

No one can want me.

Not when I have a monster

Who knows this.


I look at you.

I look hard.

Every inch of you,

I'd get to know.

Without judgment or commotion.

I want to know everything.

I want you to be open,

So, I can fill you with my love

And my passion

My devotion.


I think the more I love

The more I will grow

And the monster will die

Being pricked by this rose.


But you don't seem to want the same.

You don't care to know me, the same.

I have so much about me,

So much to me,

Sometimes I get overwhelmed.


It's so easy for me

To think I'm not wanted.

This monster makes sure this keeps still.

I need you to remind me.

How much that you want me,

Otherwise..

This monster…

She goes in for the kill.


I want to stop feeding this monster.

I want her to leave me alone.

I want to tell her I'm good enough

For the moment, for each and every

Life glory.


I want to fight her with confidence

I want to tell her I'm worthy.

That her words won't break my bones.

I want to tell her I'm sorry,

That she ever felt the reason

To hate me,

To turn my spirit to stone.


Though….

I must say…

I know who it is that let her

Have all these reasons to hate me.

I know who it is that keeps her alive.

I know who it is that must scorn me.

I know the culprit

behind the computer.

I know the true monster is buried inside.

I know the heart keeps on trying,

But her voice was silenced, she died.


I don't know the day I will tackle her.

The day I will slay her with myself.

I don't know why I look at you,

And feel like you want somebody else.

When I do know that I am dripping in sweetness.

In words that like flowers have stems.

I see the world every day through the lens of a poet

And these poems, they write for themselves.


This monster will visit me later.

She'll tell me that I am insane.

She'll tell me I am the reason

That my heart's lungs gasp in their pain.

She'll tell me I have nothing to do,

I have nothing to say that can stop her.

She'll tell me her knives are the truth.

And I, my soul, has no weapons.

So, there's nothing I'll do when she cuts me

When I'll bleed and break and I'll shatter.


She'll tell me she'll keep me awake though.

So that I don't dare to see dreams.

She'll tell me that being a human

Is about feeling and screaming

About reeling and dying

She knows what all of it means.


But I know something

This monster won't know,

And that's that I am aware…

Of pain, suffering, doubt and the fear

That this monster will always be here.


And because I'm aware, one day I will

Break her,

With the light of a girl who's not scared.

Who's not scared to love

This monster inside,

That knew no love for herself.


I will love her and love her

And never stop loving

And soon,

She'll stop crying

And she will love me, herself…


Soon, there won't be a monster.

There'll be me and I'll love myself

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