I recently witnessed someone tell a friend that she “had no life because she wasn’t married and she didn’t have a child”. This statement wasn’t just aimed towards her, it was a blanket statement for pretty much every female who isn’t married yet, or at the very least engaged. Which, I think is complete crap.
Mind you, the person this was directed to the day it was said is only nineteen and a sophomore in college.
I’m only nineteen, when I heard this I damn near had a stroke. I didn’t see the logic in that statement, and I still don’t.
You don’t need to be married, engaged, or having a kid – or multiple – to have a life. That’s absurd. Being a college student, while having a job, and still trying to maintain a social life IS having a life. All of the other stuff is just extra that you pick up along the way.
It’s not an obligation to get married and/or have children.
What if I don’t want to get married? Or have children? Does that automatically imply that I have no life?
NO.
There are so many people who never get married and still, they live their best life. Or there are people who never have children and that is no problem for them.
They can pack up and leave without a hitch. They can do whatever they please without having to worry about whom they have to tell or take with them. If anything and I do not mean this in a negative way, people who are not married or with children lead the best lives. All they have to worry about is themselves.
I use to think, not long ago, that because I wasn’t engaged or at the very least aiming towards a marriage, I was falling behind. Or because I wasn’t having a kid with the person of my dreams that I was missing out on something great – but that’s not the case at all.
I’m working towards my dream job. I’m working towards being my version of success and I realize now that being married with children is not a part of that. And that’s okay.
It’s okay to want to focus on yourself and your goals in life. It’s okay if those goals don’t include a marriage and a family.
I mean, at this point in life, most of us are in college trying to even figure out what our goals even are. We don’t even know what we want to eat for lunch and we are constantly changing our mind about EVERYTHING. How is it an expectation to know who we want to spend the rest of our lives with?
Telling someone that because they aren’t married and/or have children, they don’t have a life is unacceptable. And I reiterate, complete crap. Just because we don’t have a significant other or children does not imply we are falling behind in life or missing out on anything. Maybe it just isn’t the time or maybe it’s just not in our plans to be married or have kids.
Either way, it’s no one's business.
