College is such a stressful time in so many people's lives. Being married can also take a lot of time and patience. Put it together and you've got a challenging experience. My lovely friend, Sarah, allowed me to interview her and ask her how she manages being married and taking classes.
1. How long have you been married? How did you meet your husband? Did you go to school right after getting married?
"I met him through show choir in our freshman year of high school. He was so shy singing in front of other people, so I took him under my wing. Three months later, we were going steady and he was outperforming me for solos. We got married a month after we graduated high school and have been married now for a year. I started school right three months after we got married."
2. College is said to be a time for finding yourself. Do you feel that you can do this while being married?
"Absolutely. I feel that I already know myself pretty well, but I plan to try some new things while I'm in college. I don't believe being married will come in between that."
3. Do you envy the party lifestyle of college?
"Yes and no. I wish that I could be so carefree and just enjoy myself. I also really like the responsible side of myself. I think that if I weren't married I may try to go to more parties, but I just don't have time."
4. College can take up a lot of your time. How do you manage your classes while also making time for your husband?
"I have to live by a schedule. If any part of the schedule has to be changed or something unexpected comes up, it throws everything off. I try to complete my assignments way ahead of time so if my husband has some free time I can spend time with him. We have a mandatory date night once every two weeks."
5. How does your husband handle when your stress level is high?
"He has been really great about it so far. My first semester of college I was in way over my head, and he supported me a lot. I was trying to take 20 credit hours and work full time on top of that. He would help me stay awake when I had to do homework and was super tired. He would always make sure I had snacks in my backpack and a bottle of water. I never would have made it without him."
6. Does any part of you wish you had gotten married after college?
"Honestly? A little part of me does wish we had waited until I graduated. The only reason I feel that way is that it's hard to really feel like I'm being the best wife I could be while trying to be focused on so many classes and working. On the other hand, I don't know how I would handle this without him. I'm kind of torn."
7. Is it hard to stay committed to your husband with so many new people around you?
"God, no! I've been in love with him for so long I can't imagine being remotely interested in anyone else like that. He's not only my husband but my best friend. I know that if I were to lose him, I would lose our friendship as well, and I couldn't bear that."
8. In your opinion, what is the key to a successful marriage while in college?
"To be married in college, you must make time for both your partner and your classes. This isn't always easy, and it can limit your new experiences. I think that you would know deep down if this person is going to support your college career from the beginning. In some aspect, going to school right after getting married was a good test of how our marriage would survive stressful times. Life is full of stressful times, so if we couldn't survive this, how would we survive other stressful times?"
I hope that Sarah's experience has given some insight into what being married and in college can be like. Of course, not all situations will play out this way. Sarah mentioned many times that it is hard to manage your time between a marriage and taking classes. It can work out, but it will take patience and lots of love. Good luck to all the couples out there!
