When I say that marriage is not for you, I am not singling out a specific gender, race, religion, or age. It is meant for everyone to take to heart.

Marriage is not for you.

Before you get all up in arms, understand that I have a point, and I am going somewhere. I once read about a man who said that marriage wasn’t for him . It sparked my curiosity because I always knew that one day I was going to get married. It had been placed in my heart that I wanted to get married and I wanted to know why this man, this married man, would say that marriage was not for him. His message was beautiful and one that I would like to share with you today.

The United States of America is a fast-paced, individualistic culture that puts more emphasis on YOU rather than others. Even I am guilty of being selfish and forget to put others, including my family, before myself. I grew up in this culture. Today, more than 40% of marriages end in divorce. 40% of couples end their marriages because they cheat, lie, are abusive, are selfish, or just leave because they aren’t compatible. Marriage is under attack from modern day society and people lose sight of what truly matters.

If you didn’t already know, I am a hopeless romantic. Flowers, a nice date, letters, love, classical kind of guy. It is how I was raised. The love I saw between my mother and my father was beautiful. Dad and mom were an inseparable team. Every day when dad would come home mom would race, and I do mean flat-out sprint, to the door and kiss him and welcome him home. They would embrace and talk about how their day was. Each only concerned about how the other was doing. They would always make time for each other and worked at making the other person happy.

I could get sappy, but I realize that not everyone has sappy romantic ideals so I will spare you the details but the message still stands.

Marriage is not for you. So what do I actually mean by that?

What I mean is this—marriage is not for your own personal happiness but for your partners. Your sole purpose in marriage should be to make the other person happy. Biblically, the term marriage is defined as two people coming together in union to become one flesh. Two people become one flesh. Married couples today will even agree that when you are married, you really do become one person. Your lives and souls are so connected that the term “one in flesh,” feels real to them. In marriage, wouldn’t you want to make sure that the body or the union which you are a part of is happy, thriving, and functioning well?

Marriage is not about making you happy, rather, making the other half of you happy.

If you are already married, remember to give everything to your spouse, the marriage is not for you, making him or her happy is your number one job and making that person will, in turn, make you happy.

Marriage is a unity between two people who become one flesh. Put in the work to keep it functioning and happy. I look forward to the day that I will get married, but I know, marriage is not for me. Marriage is for my spouse who I will love unconditionally.

To my future spouse, I will love you unconditionally and with everything that I have, because you deserve nothing less. Have a wonderful week everyone.