I remember being 12 years old when my best friend and I were scrounging through her mom’s car when she came across a book that read, “How to Explain to Your Children that You’re Getting A Divorce”. I convinced her for the time being not to think twice about it, that it was probably a “for fun” reading, but sure enough three years later her parent’s marriage ended.
While I had many other friends whose parents divorced, it was especially difficult to watch her go through the painstaking process as she is such a family orientated woman. She saw the pain that both her parents were going through, and her previous embracement for love transformed into a competition with herself to see who she could cut off first. From that day on, she clutched onto the idea that a “true love” bounded between a married couple does not exist.
Hearing her express her feelings about love may seem discouraging to others, but it motivated me instead. Although I have never had a significant other, I have the most important relationships in my life to look up to my parents.
Married for 26 years, they have been the inspiration for many of my friends who have divorced parents. I constantly advertise how adorable their relationship is, not to brag to the world that I have such incredible parents who are still a married unit but to show others that love can persist.
When my family is sitting in the kitchen while my dad plays music, nothing gives me more joy than playing their wedding song, “What a Wonderful World”, by Louis Armstrong. They’ll grab each other's hands sway together, dancing slowly to the beat. What tops it off is the admiration that is clearly visible when they look at each other. It makes my heart feel whole just being with them.
My young, inexperienced eyes are able to recognize that each marriage has flaws, but I am given hope from my parents as they make sacrifices every day to ensure each other’s happiness. I am aware that arguments occur, but that is a consequence of humanity. To be human means that we are each individual with our own thoughts which includes differing opinions; disagreements happen.
Many years passed by as my mom and dad raised my siblings and I. Throughout this process, they discovered each others conflicting parental styles. Faced with many challenges, due to having rowdy kids occupying their house for 23 years, they managed to channel their love in collaboration to calm four chaotic children into four dedicated collegiate athletes.
My parents have been able to overcome arguments and differences in parenting styles for almost two and a half decades, and I confidently believe they will continue to for the rest of their life. Their love for one another inspires me to this day, and I believe that eventually, I could have a relationship as special as theirs.
I am given comfort by the fact that the human brain is malleable. I hope that knowing a relationship like my parent’s will enable my best friend to change her mind to embrace the idea that love in a marriage can persist.
