It was Valentine’s Day, 2012. I was in my senior year of high school and was sitting alone in my advanced acting class going over the script of the last play I would be stage managing. Everyone around me was talking about the candy grams they had received in their previous class or the bouquet of roses their significant other had presented them before classes had begun, and as they celebrated and chatted, I sat alone amongst them with my script.
Now dear reader, you are more than welcome to feel sad for me in this past moment because, let’s face it, it was a little sad.
For me up until this point, Valentine’s Day was a holiday that was always celebrated with my family and the occasional close friend, in which we would exchange small boxes of candy and warm sentiments about our friendships or family ties. This was something I always looked forward to and appreciated, but I always slightly envied the couples around me who would celebrate this holiday and express their love for each other in sweet and romantic ways. At this point in my life, sitting by myself with my script during my senior year of high school, I had only had one relationship in my life and it ended rather disastrously. (Not to fear, though, dear reader. He and I have moved passed that ending and have both ended up very happy in life.) Needless to say, after this ending, I was hoping to have other dating experiences to help recover from my first one, but after an unsuccessful year of asking people out for a casual meal and being rejected, I had come to find a peace with my single-ness.
Still though, as I sat reading my script, I couldn’t but help but feel a little pity party beginning in the back of my mind. I felt the envy spark a little. I felt a little sadness too. I wanted what these happy people had but didn’t know how to attain it. I mean, part of the equation to this happiness, I assume, involves getting a bite to eat and no one I ever asked seemed to be hungry. And besides, isn’t the way to a man’s heart through his stomach? How can I get to the heart if the stomach denies my filling it?!
As I continued to sit, I sighed and pushed these thoughts aside and focused on the notes in my script when suddenly someone stopped in front of me. I looked up to find a young man who I had been particularly fond of for the past seven months standing in front of me with a rose, smiling. To this day, I wish I remember exactly what it was word for word he told me, but to give you the bottom line, he told me happy valentine’s day and that he’d like me to have that rose. I took it, blushing like a buffoon, thanked him, and watched as he walked back to his seat.
That rose lived in a vase on my dining room table for two weeks before it wilted. Every day I would look at that flower and smile, knowing someone felt it was important for me to have a flower on a day in which I had no one to celebrate with. The day after receiving the flower, I found out that this young man had given flowers to several girls like me for Valentine’s Day: girls who he knew and was friendly with and wanted to feel special.
Of all of the Valentine’s Days I’ve experienced, even to today, this particular day still holds a special place in my heart. The rose I received was special and this is why: it was not a gesture from someone I was in a relationship with, nor was it a gift with the intent of getting me to become something more than what we already were. This was a gesture of sweet and friendly love.
On February 14, we’re told to appreciate the person you love and have romantic interests in, which is fantastic and nice, but we often let the important people in life fall by the wayside: our friends and family who show us love all the time. Like this boy in my acting class, these people often show us love in abstract ways which are usually not recognized or really appreciated by us.
For instance, when your mom runs her fingers through your hair when you watch a TV show together because she knows it feels good to you. Or when your best friend takes the spider out of your bathroom because you’re scared to death of them. Or when your brother gives you his jacket because you forgot yours at home and have been shivering in the vegetable aisle for the past 10 minutes. All of these actions, and more, are simple ways that the people in our lives tell us they love us, and it’s important that we understand what these actions mean and celebrate them for what they are.
On this February 14, when you decide to go to the store to buy your flowers and candy hearts, be sure to buy a box for that person in your life who loves you in some of the best ways possible: as a friend, as a sibling, or a child. As the person who will always make you a fancy dinner when you visit them. As the person who will make you soup when you’re sick even though they’re deathly afraid of getting sick. As the person who listens to you talk about your life and helps talk you through how to improve the situations you find yourself in. As the person who will tell you you’re beautiful even on your fugly days. Don’t forget to tell these people you love them too. Because these people are the people who make life worth it.
Finally, to the boy who gave me that rose all these years ago: thank you. Thank you for giving me one of the best Valentine’s Days I’ve ever had. Thank you for making me feel pretty and important and special. Thank you for your kindness and love. It’s something I won’t ever forget.
